


I Ran Away

by Zlorecile



Category: Bleach
Genre: Angst, Bleach - Freeform, Demons, Drama, F/M, Love, Romance, Smut, Toug Love, adult, mature - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-03-21
Updated: 2011-03-21
Packaged: 2017-10-17 04:41:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 25,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/173010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zlorecile/pseuds/Zlorecile





	1. Goodbye Academy Days

"Zlorecile no last name" The head captain called out, his powerful voice booming among all the new recruits sitting at their graduation ceremony. They all looked relieved as the last name was called, each one of them wanted nothing more than to go celebrate their squad placing with their friends.

I looked up dully, my long silver hair covering my eyes. I didn't care what squad I was placed in, though I had a feeling I would be placed in the tenth. I liked that captain so I didn't mind. I stood up and walked in front of the head captain, bowing as low as I could. I was just glad he could control his spiritual pressure, unlike another captain in the room.

My eyes trailed quickly to the row where all the captains sat, and more particularly at the one eyed captain of the eleventh. I forgot his name, but knew he was strong. He was hot, I'd give him that, though most people would call me crazy. His attitude wasn't my type though. It annoyed me to no end the way his reiatsu was fluctuating wildly, and the students who were sitting to close to him seemed to be near passing out. It was pathetic.

"Zlorecile!" The head captains voice and his cane banging against the floor knocked her out of my mulling. He continued to stare at me with that stern look on his face, even though his eyes were closed it scared the shit out of me.

"Sorry." I mumbled.

"Congratulations on your placing, now, I wou-"

"Whoa! Wait wait wait..." I interrupted him before he could begin his closing speech. He stopped and seemed to glare at me.

"Yes Zlorecile?"

"you never placed me in a squad" I reminded him. His eyes opened slightly, seeming to glare at me. "What?"

"It seems your ability to space out goes beyond what the teachers informed me of. You have been placed in the eleventh squad due to the recommendation of nearly all your teachers and several classmates. You should be pleased to be the only person besides Akihito Shoda to be placed in the eleventh this year. Any objections?"

So startled by his decision all I could do was babble incoherently. "um... no..."

I was already halfway back in my seat by the time it hit me. I was in the eleventh division? What! I looked to the captain of the eleventh, he was staring intently at me with what seemed to be a smirk. Realizing I was staring back, I rolled my eyes and turned back, waiting for the meeting to be over with so I could go back to bed. I didn't have to report to the division until the next morning anyways.

Sitting on the roof of the dormitories, it had only been an hour since the ceremony was over, yet they were completely empty. Everyone was out partying but me. I cursed, why did I have to scare away any potential friends?

"Moping like usual?" An alluring voice came from behind me. I turned and instantly my face lit up in a smile. Standing above me was Akihito. Re dish brown hair framing his face perfectly, and with a muscular six foot build, he was the envy of every girl in the seireitei. Hell, he could probably get lieutenant Matsumoto if he tried. I remembered when I first met him in the rukongai, when we were both 6 and he was an chubby little guy. Something he didn't loose until after he had entered the academy.

"Bah, me moping? What would I ever mope about?" I raised an eyebrow, sitting up as he took a seat next to me, staring out to the sunset.  
"I don't know, Maybe the fact that you are in the same division as me?" He laughed, his beautiful voice filling the air and wrapping around me like a cold breeze on a hot day.

"tch, yah, thats probably the main part. Though I am still not sure why they sent me there. I mean, sure I like to fight but.. with the eleventh? Besides the lieutenant I'm the only girl there!" I rubbed my temples.

"Zlo... the only other spot they could have put ya woulda been a jail cell. Yer dangerous, and ya know it. But yah, I ain't pleased about it either. Good thing I will be there to fight off all the scoundrels who are gonna be hounding after ya." he winked, causing me to smirk.  
"Shouldn't you have joined the fourth with yer girlfriend? I heard that because of your high marks in nearly every category, you got free reign on what division." I frowned thinking of his girlfriend. His prefect, beautiful, model thin blond girlfriend. She was the kind of girl I would never be. She had the one thing I would never have.

"The fourth? Some on Zlo, I mean, I love my girlfriend and all, but it ain't the right place for me. I belong on the battle field." He smiled brightly. My heart fell. So he didn't join the eleventh because of me? What had I expected? I was so stupid...

"Well, as much as I love your company, I should go. And you need to go hang out with Karie. I'm sure she's waiting for you, maybe she’s wearing some sexy and in a bed all hot and bothered?" I laughed at the ideal, though it was forced. Everyone knew they had already don't things like that many times over. If she had to listen to Karie brag to her about how good he was in bed one more time, she would either punch the girl, kill he, or just throw up.

"hmm, yah, I guess I'll go do that." Akihito frowned before smiling again and standing up. "See ya latter, and thanks for the ideal, I think I know what ima get her for her graduation present. Oh yah, and I'll give yours to you tomorrow too, OK?"

With that, he shunpo'd off, leaving me behind. I immediately dropped the fake smile. I was such an idiot. I had known Akihito forever. We had been through thick and thin together, we had saved each others lives countless times. And, ever since I was 10, I had been madly in love with him. With that kindhearted, chubby boy from the rukongai. Even though he was now 20, and I was 17, nothing had changed in the way he felt about me, and nothing had changed in the way I loved him. I only wish he felt that way about me.

Sure I had dated other guys, but it wasn't the same. I watched him being fawned over, always the center of attention, with me always watching from behind the lines. Forced to sleep with the knowledge that he had rarely went to bed alone. I would be forced to sleep like that again today. It hurt. It really did.

Standing up I sighed. I needed to go to my room and sleep. I had to report to the eleventh early the next morning. I wondered If I would cry again this night.


	2. Hostilities

A knock woke me at the door. Knowing who it was, I got up and walked over, swinging the door open with a drowsy expression. "Oi! Do you know what time it is! It’s only like… Morning! I'm sleeping!" I growled.

Akihito stood on the other side of the doorway, staring at me with his mouth open in shock before it turned to a devious grin. "First, It's nearly nine, and we were supposed to be in the eleventh nearly 15 minutes ago... and second..."

His eyes trailed lower and his grin grew. "I think you should go looking like that, it suits you."

I frowned, not sure what he meant, but following his gaze I looked down at my apparel, or lack thereof. I looked back up at him, slowly reaching out and closing the door with a blank face. When it shut, I let out a screech and ran to my dresser, hastily pulling out a tight blue t-shirt and gray sweats. Not even bothering to check in the mirror for how I looked, being late and embarrassed, I reopened the door and bonked him upside the head.

"You pervert, tell me sooner! And why did you wait till now to wake me up! We need to go!" I took of running, Akihito laughing so hard that tears started streaming down his face as he chased after me.

"Oi! bout time yer here! My name is Ikkaku Madarame, third seat." A bald headed man greeted us in the training grounds.  
"Well, at least one of the two recruits showed up." He did a once over of me before turning back to Akihito. "Nice as she looks, and no matter how much I want her to stay and watch me kick yer ass, your girlfriend needs to leave before the guys get to excited."

My eyebrow twitched and my hand instinctively went to my Zanpakuto's hilt. Akihito stopped me though, his arm wrapping around my shoulder. "Sir, Sorry to inform you, but she ain't my girlfriend, and more importantly She-"

"Then even more so why she needs to go. If she's available then all the guys are going to think that they have a chance with her. Sorry buddy." Ikkaku seemed to smirk at that.

I had had enough of being ignored. I Started to draw my Zanpakuto, but only had it halfway out of the belt when I was covered by a shadow. I looked up to see the captain of squad eleven, looking right at me. I froze.

"Ikkaku, These are the new recruits, both of them." The man said, his voice rough and laced with power that sent shivers through her body. There was no way he was normal. His eyes looked me over in a way that made me feel oddly exposed like never before. As if he could see into my very soul. I shivered slightly, looking away.

Ikkaku just stared with disbelief. "Captain! You can't be serious!"

Kenpachi glared. "Now don't you dare start with that whole girls are weak shit, because they wouldn't put her in here if that was true"

Ikkaku shook his head. "It isn't that captain, the men will eat her alive. She won't last a night without being gang raped!"

"I would have to agree with Ikkaku captain, the men here can behave quite ugly." An elegant voice came from behind Ikkaku. The new arrival sported an unusual orange scarf. He looked at the two of us and a grin spread across his face."Hello, my name is Yumichika. What a good looking two you are. Quite beautiful, not as much as me of course, but in my league. I have decided that you will be my new friends in this division of brutes, it gets so taxing being the only beautiful one, I mean most of these guys have never even heard of-"

Kenpachi snorted in disbelief, cutting him off "First, Yumichika, stop boring them to deaf. As for her safety, she’ll be fine."

I crossed my arms, still not liking the way they were talking about me as if I was an item or wasn’t there. Still, I had to keep my composure. I couldn't afford to get mad yet.

"Anyways, Ikkaku, you are going to be in charge of training the guy. From what I heard he got top scores in all his classes. He seems like he'll be a good addition. Tell me what rank you think he should get later today, OK? Good." He turned around, but then looked back. "I will be training the girl personally. So you there, follow me to my office."  
I frowned but followed nonetheless. I glanced back at Akihito and the two ranked officers. Akihito was looking upset about something that Ikkaku was whispering in his ear. I would have to discover what it was later.

"Quit daydreaming and hurry it up will ya!" I was snapped out of my daydream by the captain once more. I reluctantly followed him to his office, wondering what I did wrong.

Once inside, I sweat dropped. It was decided, he had not done any paperwork since he became captain. There had to be at least a hundred years worth of it. I turned to him with an incredulous stare. Sure, I wasn't a neat freak, but even I had standards.

"What?" he grumbled under his breath before taking a seat on the futon, staring at me adamantly. I couldn't read his expression, but the air around him was hostile.

"What?" I countered, also grumbling.

"Why are you here?" He asked with an unemotional face.

I looked at him with curiosity. Why was I here? "How am I supposed to know?"

"Of all the squads, why did the head captain place you here?"

I shrugged. "Dunno, I mean, with all due respect, ain't that something for you to know as captain?"

"No"

The response was so sure, toneless, and yet it came off as hostile. Something was wrong. Either I was imagining things, or he did not like me. I always had a good instinct when it came to judging others, and my first impression was rarely wrong.

"Neither do I sir. The head captain placed me here personally, and I have no ideal why honestly."

"Get out." He glared.

There was that tone again, and somehow I knew he did not mean of his office. Confusion plagued my mind. He had just stood up for me staying a few minutes ago, so why was he suddenly changing his tone. "Sir?"

"Don't misunderstand what I did outside. I hate men who take personal feelings into the workplace. I don't want to be seen as a hypocrite. So leave before my personal feelings get you killed." It was then that his gaze finally turned hostile to match his voice. I shivered.

"But Sir, I don't understand. If this has to do with the fact that I am a girl, at least give me a chance to prove that I can hold a weapon as well as any guy." I half begged.

"This has nothing to do with your damn gender. If you don't remember the reason why, then you should leave before I get mad." He stood up, his figure towering over me.

"What? Sir, we have never met before I-"

"Think again."

I had met him before? Whatever I had done had pissed him off, making it so I did not really care to know. "I can’t remember, But sir, if I have ever wronged you, I did not mean to."

He rolled his eyes. "Just get out of my division. Go to the old man and request it."

"Sir, don't you have more power in that fashion?"

"Tch, usually, but the old man ain't budging on this one, So I need you to go and get out. No matter what you need to leave. Fuck him if ya need to."

Disgusted with him, I had to stop myself from retorting a reply that would only worsen my situation. "Sir, I believe I deserve to know why it is you are so against me."

He glared at me with such ferocity that I was forced to look away.

I thought he wouldn't answer, but after a few minutes of his glare never leaving my face, He spoke with an emotion almost akin to sadness. "The only person I ever respected, admired. The person I lived for. Her name was Yachiru."  
That was when I knew. He was not talking about his pink haired lieutenant. He was talking about somebody else. A name we both knew well. A name from nearly 150 years ago. Someone who I had tried to erase from my mind.

I ran.

Out of the office.

Out of the division.

Past the pond

Past the tenth division

I did not stop until I was at the first division's main office, filling out paperwork for a division transfer.


	3. Captains Hall

I ran.

Out of the office.

Out of the division.

Past the pond

Past the tenth division

I did not stop until I was at the first division's main office, filling out paperwork for a division transfer.

"Eleventh division recruit Zlorecile, may I ask why you are here, and what that division transfer form is in your hand?" A voice every person in the seireitei knew rang out, filling the room with power. I shivered slightly, turning with a smile to face the head captain.

"Head captain Yamamoto," I bowed low. "I am filling out a transfer request form." I was a little shocked to see him here, I would have figured him to have better things to do than wander around the first division.

"I know what you are doing, What I want to know is why."

Confused, I looked back up and my eyes met his ever-closed ones. Sometimes I thought he was worse than the infamous Ichimaru taichou in that matter. "I wish to transfer divisions sir, the eleventh is not right for me."

I could have sworn I heard a sigh come from the head captain. He walked up to me. I respected this man greatly, even if I did not always agree with his policies, I understood them. He did what was best for soul society, even if it was morally wrong.

"Rise." He instructed. I gladly rose from my bowed position. "I wish you to take a walk with me around the courtyard if you have time."

My heart skipped a beat out of fear that I had done something wrong, but was calmed by his gentle, solemn expression. I nodded my head. Without further ado, he started walking, cane in hand.

I had always wondered about his cane. I mean, he was so powerful I doubted he needed it. So then why did he have it? Perhaps it was to give him the look of a harmless old man, though I doubted he needed to resort to such trickery to defeat an opponent. Unless someone took away his Zanpakuto, arms and legs, they would never beat him. Even then they might even find it hard. Who knew?

I shook my head, I didn't even want to think about someone capable of defeating this man.

"Zlorecile, do you know what this is?" The head captain interrupted me. I realized I had been following him without thinking. He had led me into a building that was extremely large. I had never noticed this place before, and then it hit me. He had concealed it with Kido. I wondered why.

All that was in it were statues. It filled the circular dome. The statues were of people. There were 32 in all. I recognized 22 of them. The head captain himself: Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto, Yoruichi Shihōin, Soi Fon, Rōjūrō Otoribashi, Retsu Unohana, Shinji Hirako, Ginrei Kuchiki, Byakuya Kuchiki, Love Aikawa, Sajin Komamura, Shunsui Kyōraku, Kensei Muguruma, Tōshirō Hitsugaya, Kenpachi Zaraki, Kirio Hikifune, Kisuke Urahara, Mayuri Kurotsuchi, Jūshirō Ukitake, Isshin Kurosaki, Tessai Tsukabishi, Kenpachi,Kiganjo, Gin Ichimaru.

Further down there were many empty plates where it looked like more statues could be fit. I widened my eyes. The nameplates for Sasuke Aizen and Kaname Tousen were still in place, though there were no statues. It seems that they were not forgiven of their crimes. Gin Ichimaru however was there, something I found confusing. I heard he was defeated in battle like the other two were during the great winter war.

"Sir, are these all Ex-captains?" I asked, knowing the answer.

"Yes. These are all the captain of the seireitei in the past. Even those who have dishonored their names still have a base, if not a statue." He wandered down to where the statue of Zaraki Kenpachi was, and looked up. I Joined him.

The statue did him justice, that was for sure, Eleven feet tall, it was built on a large scale but every detail seemed to be exact. I found it interesting though that he had long hair that was not up in bells then, nor did he wear the eye patch he was famous for. It must have been an old statue.

I wanted to ask the head captain why he took me here, but I knew better. He would explain if I gave him time. Instead I focused on the statue. He had a stoic face on instead of his usual scowl or grin.

"Not even all the captains know of this place. I do not believe I ever told captain Hitsugaya or Zaraki Kenpachi. It is a sacred place, and you are the first person to have stepped inside of it for nearly 10 years, since we had Sasuke and Tousen removed." The head captain mused."You came today wanting to switch out of the eleventh division. I have to refuse."

I forgot all about the statues for the time being and frowned something terribly. "Head captain, with all do respect I do-"

"No." he cut me off. "Let me explain Zlorecile."

Taking a deep breath I waited.

"I have not been truthful when I said that I hand picked you for the eleventh. I was actually against it." He said, causing me to raise an eyebrow.

"Do you remember how you were retrieved by a squad of 5 seated officers?"

I nodded "Well, technically Akihito was the one retrieved,"

He sighed and shook his head. "No Zlorecile. Their target was you. The soul society had received complaints from districts 60-75 about somebody by the name of Zlorecile. After much investigation and many requests to have you captured, I had them retrieve you."

My breath caught in my throat not knowing what to say. "But, Akihito..."

"That was a disguise. We did not know what kind of person you were. Out of fear of being attacked, we told the five men to retrieve Akihito Shoda. We knew by then that you had followed along. I hired Yoruichi Shihōin to do the investigation of you herself, so that it would stay confidential."

The world seemed to be spinning around me. "You mean..."

"Yes, we know everything about you Zlorecile. We were honestly frightened of the threat you posed, being what you are. We planed to lock you up in a place known as the maggots nest."

"How much do you know?" My heart beat rapidly, fear plaguing my every nerve.

"We know that you have killed several times. We know that your father was Akuma himself and your mother a captured captain. As such you are half demon, though we could not figure out how you ended up here. Your powers of seduction, and the way that through something as small as eye contact you can seduce a man to your every whim. How you do not eat normal food other than when necessary, instead you feed on the spiritual energy of others through a kiss. Somewhat like a succubus. The way you dull your hair, as the shine of it can make any man go crazy with lust. Your Zanpakuto Ak-."

"STOP!" I hollered, putting my hands over my ears. "If this is about sending me to some prison, or back to hell, or executing me, I- It isn't fair! I never did anything wrong. I have never once used my powers against innocent people except for when they are trying to hurt me or Akihito, and as for feeding, I starve myself because I hate hurting people, I have killed, its true. But it was always on accident. I didn't mean to. A-and when I do fee-"

"ENOUGH!" His powerful voice rang through the hall. "Cal down Zlorecile and let me continue."

I bit my tongue, tears threatening my eyes.

"When we met you, you were nothing like what we thought you were. You were polite, had a temper, but was otherwise normal. I couldn't bring myself to lock you up or kill you. It was four years ago. You had humanity, kindness, and a strange sorrow in your eyes. We decided to give you a chance to live a normal life.

"We were forced to inform all the captains of what you were though, so that they could decide if they wanted you in their division. Leaving out your name of course. My division, the 6th, 13th and the fourth weren't right for you, as you would not get enough action in to control your rage. The second division captain did not think you belonged there. The third division, fifth, and ninth are still without captains for the time being, with the Vice captain's filling in, so we thought that it wouldn't be too safe. With your strange powers, we could not control Kyōraku enough to put you with him. That left the eleventh and tenth. I was hesitant in this choice. I was. I thought the tenth would be best, as Hitsugaya is still young and would not be susceptible to you. But, he seemed opposed to it, as you would not fit in. That left the eleventh. Kenpachi seemed fine with it, and I had no doubt that even on the rare occasion that he would fall for you, he would be able to control you, and he has enough spiritual pressure in case you slip."

I refused to look at him. I refused to acknowledge that this was happening.

"Now Zlorecile. I also know about you and Yachiru. I know that Zaraki freaked out as soon as he received your name, however..." His gaze traveled up to the large man."Zaraki is strong. He also has a wisdom about him that most would not guess. I suppose I am keeping you in there for selfish reasons. I am going to retire soon, the winter war exhausted me. I do not have the will to continue fighting like I did a thousand years ago. I plan on having Jūshirō Ukitake take my place until his days end, which will probably be soon after mine. Then Kyōraku will take his place I do not want damage to fall the seireitei like that ever again. As such, I want strong captains. I do no like those three empty spots, as they leave loopholes for people to get around. I need strong captains. I cannot afford to waste a powerful soul just because they have nowhere to go and have to be sent off to the maggots nest or worse. You have nowhere else to go. "

I wondered where this was going.

"You are powerful. Already at third seat level. And though Zaraki and the other captain may refuse to recognize it..." He hesitated, as if he shouldn't say what he was about to reveal, but had decided to anyways."You may one day have your statue among these. If your powers advance like predicted, you WILL become like them. You may even exceed some."

I stared at him, my mouth wide. I couldn't take it all in. So I did the one thing that the captain had probably never been able to predict.

I fainted.


	4. Reaper Kiss

I opened my eyes to see two faces hovering over me. The first was one in knew too well. Akihito. I blinked several times, wondering what had happened and where I was. The bed felt unnaturally rough, uncomfortable. It wasn't an infirmary bed though, for the room was to dark in shades.

"Ne, Ne, Aki-chan! She's awake! Aki-chan!" Came the high pitched voice. I looked to the second person in the room to behold a pink haired child. I sweat dropped. Why was a child in the room with me?

I noticed looked to Akihito, whose face was inches from mine. I shot up a hand to meet it and pushed it away. "What are you trying to do? Kiss me?"

Akihito's face took on a smirk and he opened his mouth to make what I could only guess would be some smart remark.

"Unless he want's to suffer the wrath of a jealous girlfriend and sleep alone tonight he won't." Rang out a voice that was entirely to sweet to be natural. The three of us all looked over to see the platinum blond beauty that could only be Karie. I sent a forced smile her way and she returned it with one that was real. She was a sweet girl, and if she wasn't going out with Akihito, then perhaps I would like her. She had everything. She came from a noble family and had a fortune at her dispense, she was a powerful healer who had already had her named learned with captain Unohana, and most importantly, she had Akihito.

Akihito walked up to her, a smirk on her face. "Ah but I don't think you could last that long without me, could you?" He teased back, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her into a small kiss. I sat up and looked away, utterly disgusted.

"Eww, Ken~chan said that people like you should get a room. He said that kissing is where babies come from. Are you two gonna have a baby?"

I had all but forgotten about the pink haired child. I looked to her and let out a small chuckle. "I don't think I know you?"

She hopped up to the bed and sat on my lap, looking at me with a big grin as she rested her head in her hand. "Wow Kanashii~chan, It's kinda sad that you don't even know who your own lieutenant is isn't it?"

Kanashi~chan? Before I could ask why she had called me that, I was interrupted by Akihito.

"Yah, this is the lieutenant of squad 11, apparently she want's us to call her Yachiru. Right now you are in the squad barracks, my bed. The head captain sent for me when you fainted out of the blue."

I looked down, suddenly recalling all the previous days events. I did not want to think of it. I wanted to believe it was all a dream. Maybe it was, maybe going so long without feeding was driving me insane. Perhaps that would be best, to be locked up in a jail cell where I couldn't hurt anyone. No more killings, no more Yachiru's.

That name, it plagued my nightmares. Kenpachi Zaraki. Back then he did not have a name. Everyone just called him it, even me. It was terrible of us, terrible of me, who was more of a monster than him. I was a hypocrite and the worst kind. In fact the only person who had never called him anything like that, was Yachiru. She was gone, and it was my fault.

I looked over at the little Yachiru and smiled softly, a sad smile. I wondered how long it had taken him to find the little pink haired girl. He must have been lonely, and in pain. I knew all too well how is was to be alone. However, I had never known how lonely it was to be alone after having someone. I don't think I ever would want to. What I put the eleventh division captain threw was worse than death.

"Zlorecile, are you alright?" Akihito said gently, shaking my shoulder. I looked up, snapping out of my trance. I was looking to deeply into things. I was sure it was not as bad as my heart was telling me it was.

"I need to talk to the captain." I said, my voice near the breaking point.

Akihito and Karie opened their mouths to say something, but Yachiru came to my rescue. She bounced down, grabbed my hand and started to drag me away before anyone, including myself, could blink.

The door to the captain's office slammed open and shut so hard I wondered for a moment whether or not it would break. I shrugged it off, I had more pressing matters to deal with. One of which being the towering seven foot man standing in front of us.

In his presence, I nearly balked. I wanted to run, and not be the bearer of bad news. I would rather be in the fourth division than in the eleventh with this man. He stared down at me with cold, emotionless eyes, as if waiting for me to leave. Yachiru was bouncing next to us, her lips were moving but I could hear no words. By the way he was staring at me, I doubted he heard them whether.

My mind raced desperately for something, anything to say. How to start the conversation. How to inform him that I had utterly and completely failed in switching divisions. When no words came to mind, I got on my knees and bowed low to the floor, my forehead touching the cold wood.

"Yachiru, out."

"Ken~Chan!"

"Now"

I heard the pitter-patter of feet running out the door before it slammed once again. My heart stopped , not knowing if he was waiting for me. I spoke first. "Forgive me, I- I went to fill out the division transfer form, but the head captain stopped me, He refused my request, I- I'm sorry."

A curse rang out from his mouth and I felt him grab the color of my shihakuso, dragging me to my feet, toes, and then off the ground to face him. His face inches from mine. It was painful, but I bore with it.

"Did you try everything? Why won't he let you switch?" He demanded.

"He feels that this is the safest place for me.. He.. I don't know."

I felt a shiver go through my body at my words for some unknown reason. The large man set me back down on my feet and I looked up into hiss eyes and saw a glint of something in them. I couldn't identify what though, at least not until he smirked and leaned in, his lips centimeters from mine, making it so that his breath tickled my lips when he spoke.

"So if he were to deem you weren't safe here, he would transfer you out?"

I felt nauseous at his words, recognition growing in me. "I guess so." I braved, trying to push thoughts out of my mind. This man was a killer, fearful of being attacked I tried to discern how fast I could pull my zanpakuto out of its slot to defend myself before he had a chance to kill me. The answer was simple, not enough.

What he did next though, was far different than what I had thought he would do, and at the same time worse. He grabbed me and pulled me close, his hand in an area it should not have been. His eyes never left mine, not even as he spoke. "You're not a virgin are you?"

The question made me blush something terribly. I now saw his plan and refused to allow him to do something like that. Without thinking I lifted my arm and slapped him across the face, my naturally sharp nails caught on his eye patch though, and swept it off.

I hadn't expected what came next. As the eye patch disappeared, something else replaced it. A reiatsu, the likes of one I had only felt once before. Like the last time, I felt the same need. Before, I had ran. I had ran as far away as possible, and then gone into a shock induced state.

This time was different, I couldn't escape. The delicious aura of it was something that was begging me to try it. I stared at his lips, I could just imagine how it would feel. I needed to feed anyways, I had needed to do so for a while now. I NEEDED to.

"Surprised your still st-" The large captain had started to talk, but no longer able to help it, I cut him off, my lips meeting his.

It was as if my thoughts were swirling in confusion and bliss. The thirst in this kiss as I sucked out his rich spiritual energy. The rational part of my mind, the one my body refused to listen to, knew this was dangerous. He could surf my memories freely when I did this, but men rarely did. Usually they were focused on something else. A feeling that accompanied the kiss.

I knew it was true when I felt his hand that was still wrapped around me hold me even closer. Both of us suffering from a carnal desire not found in nature, I let go and wrapped my arms around him. He leaned me back and on to the couch behind us, his left hand intertwining with my hair, succeeding in messing it up. His right hand began to travel up my shirt. Our tongues mixed in a sinful dance as neither of us stopped for breath, somehow we managed to keep going. He ground into me, and I pressed against him. Reiatsu fluctuating wildly. I felt that if I fed forever of this guy, then he would still never run out.

"Later" I heard him growl against my lips. I realized someone had knocked on the door but didn't pay any mind to it, at least not until I heard my name being called out by a very familiar voice.

"Z-Zlorecile..." He called out again, and my eyes trailed just enough to see Akihito standing in the doorway.

It had never happened before, I had never felt the urge to stop feeding. It was as if all the desire from earlier was gone. With a great amount of effort I managed to get the captain to stop kissing and groping me. He looked down at me with a shocked expression, as if he was unsure what had happened and how it had happened. I looked at Akihito, who was still staring at me with a shocked expression, and something else I couldn't read. Desperately, I kneed the captain in the stomach. He probably barely felt it, but he got off of me and along with Akihito, just continued staring dumbstruck a me. I looked wide eyed at the man I loved and stood up.

"Akihito... This isn't what you think!"

Glossary:

Kanashi: sorrow or sad.


	5. Chapter 5

"Akihito... This isn't what you think!"

Akihito turned around. It was then that I noticed a large blue gift bag in his hand. His knuckles grasping the handle they had turned white. My heart stopped. I knew him well enough to know he was furious with me. I didn't understand it all, but I knew I had to make him.. not mad at me.

I took a step forward, but at the same time he spun back around to face me. His bright eyes narrowed. "You disappoint me Zlorecile..." He then threw the bag against the wall with so much force I heard something in it break, before turning and with a shunpo disappearing.

I would rather he slapped me. The words stung my heart. I looked at the bag, then to where he had stood before taking of. I started to shunpo after him when someone grabbed my arm and stopped me. I spun around to face captain Zaraki. This time it was my turn to narrow my eyes at him.

"You need to ex-"

"Let go of me!" I demanded, using all my strength in an effort to tear out of his grip. He ended up letting go of me as I shunpo'd off.

It took me a while but I finally located him, he was with Karie. I sighed, not knowing if I interrupted, but not wanting to eavesdrop. I turned to go when I heard his voice carry over.

"-Is just a slut, I bet she fucks him on a daily basis. I mean, she isn't even that pretty. Her hair's ugly and her eyes? I mean, there just creepy! I don't like her, I really am only nice to her because I ha-"

I put my hands over my ears, I had expected such words to come from someone like Karie, but they weren't. This was Akihito talking, and in my gut I had a sick feeling it was about me. With anger, and overwhelming sadness I turned and started to walk away, nowhere in particular, just to escape.

I took my time walking, wallowing in self pity. I knew it was pathetic, but didn't care. I found myself in the first division, and leaned against a wall. It was dark now, and I was exhausted. I knew the captain hadn't given me a place to sleep, and as such I wasn't expecting one. I had just closed my eyes, not wanting to think of what all had happened, when a voice broke the silence.

"You should be in bed Zlorecile." The head captain said. I opened my eyes to see him passing by, his eyes never opened and his gait never slowed. I still couldn't figure out what he was doing with the cane, since he never seemed to use it.

However, seeing him seemed to strengthen my resolve. I did need to get up and go back. I needed to ignore the captain and Zaraki, and I needed to train to become stronger. I couldn't afford to wallow like this. I didn't have the time.

Standing up, I brushed off my clothes and headed back. I walked with a confident gate up to the captains headquarters and knocked on the door. "Recruit Zlorecile no last name, requesting an audience Sir."

after a few minutes of silence the door finally opened, revealing a very unhappy captain. "You, What do you want."

"Sir, you have yet to inform me of where I am going to stay, or where I should shower. "

"What? You think your special? You shower and sleep with the rest of the division." He rolled his eyes like I was stupid and turned to close the door. My foot caught it.

"But sir, I am a girl."

He growled and spun around. "So? You are the one who insisted you stay in this division. Face the consequences. Maybe getting trained might help that personality of yours."

I removed my foot and just stared at him. "Sir you ca-"

The door slammed in my face. I knocked again, no response. Sighing and wondering just what "trained" meant, I walked over to the bathhouse. It was nearly midnight anyways, SO I doubted anyone would be in there. Pulling a spare uniform out of my bag, which I had stashed in a tree, I entered the bathhouse and bathed quickly, thanking the heavens that nobody was around.

I stepped out, now I only had one problem left, where to sleep. I smirked, if he wanted to be that way, then fine. He would soon learn I could fend for myself just fine.

Climbing up onto the roof of the barracks, I snuggled down. The cold air caressed my body, but I was long since used to the cold. I wondered if Akihito was beneath me right now. If he was thinking of me. If her really hated me. I wanted to believe it was just anger that caused him to rant, but his words had been said with such conviction. It hurt.


	6. Pathetic Dog

"Where were you last night?" A husky voice interrupted my training session. It was dawn, and I had hardly slept a wink last night. The reason was this voice. Forcing a smile to cover the fact I was gritting my teeth, I turned to face Akihito.

"I was asleep." I said before turning back to my training. Akihito didn't appreciate the way I was ignoring him, for he caught my arm and stopped me. I sighed and tried to pull away. He didn't let me.

"Zlorecile, where did you sleep?" He asked again. I opened my mouth to sneer at him, angry and hurt over his words from the other day, and confused by the concern in his eyes. However, a tall man beat me too it.

The captain approached behind me and we both tensed. "She slept with m-"

"Him!" I interrupted, pointing to the captain. I knew he was going to say 'With my men', but if I knew that Akihito would get angry with me. If I told him I slept on the roof his reaction would be worse. Well actually I didn't know anymore. Although his concern was very clear in his voice, his hatred was also very clear the previous day. I had planned on coming up with some excuse, but now I didn't.

"I slept in his room." I snarled, once again trying to tear out of his grasp. I opened my mouth for a silent gasp as he tightened his grip and glared,

"What did you ju-"

"You heard me." I interrupted him, glancing at the captain who had a quizzical face. I looked back down, trying not to cry. He kept staring at me with the same old angry, shocked expression.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You said so yourself that I probably 'Fuck him on a daily basis' right?" I felt the grip on my arm lessen and his eyes widen even more. I took a little pleasure in that. I turned away. "Though it is surprising I can get someone like him with my ugly hair and creepy eyes." I finished, repeating the exact words he had spoken about me. With a huff I sheathed my sword and shunpo'd off, leaving behind me two shocked men. I would have to apologize to the captain for using him like that.

I found myself wandering the seireitei for the third time that day. I hated this, I hated the truth. I hadn't cried about it, about what Akihito had said about me, but that was largely because it had not registered in my mind yet. I was still in denial. I needed to train, and do so efficiently. Wandering around the seireitei was doing me no good.

"Kanashi cha~n!" I heard the nickname being called out and my first instinct was to duck. When I felt the two little feet on my shoulders I knew I was too late.

"Yes lieutenant?" I said in defeat. She plopped down on my shoulder and I just kept walking.

"Whatcha doin?"

"Walking"

"Where to?"

"Haven't decided yet."

"Oh..."

"Yah."

We kept walking and for the first time the little girl was quiet. "Why are you here?" I asked, breaking the silence and the rhythm of the girls feel swinging against my chest.

Yachiru took a deep breath, frowning. "Kenny was mad, so I left to do something else."

"Why didn't you go find the pretty boy or baldy?"

"They were stopping someone from attacking Kenny."

"Who is stupid enough to attack him?"

"Akihito"

I stopped midstep and Yachiru hopped off. I spun to face her. "Why was akihito trying to attack him?" Panic rose in me and without waiting for her to tell me, I started to sprint back. The little girl at my heels.

"Well, Akihito was mad at Kenny, said something about stealing something, Then kenny said he could F word anyone he wanted and she had the same free will, then Akihito drew his sword and Kenny said he wasn't going to fight his new seventh seat. Then Akihito said that Kenny was just toying with her, and to that Kenny said that it doesn't matter since Akihito thinks she's so ugly. Then Kenny drew his sword too and the two idiots ste-"

I didn't listen to any more. If they had fought I was pretty sure that Akihito was dead or near. I cursed, this was my entire fault. I didn't know why Akihito was reacting this way, but he was. I could work out the technicalities later. I burst through the captain's door seconds later.

"Where is he!"I yelled, panting slightly. Zaraki was sitting at his desk, his head propped up on his hand. He looked up lazily as I marched up to his desk and slammed my hands on him. "Where the fuck is he? What did you do! I swear if you harmed him I- I- I'll … I will kill you or die trying!" I half yelled, half stuttered.

The captain sat back with a smirk. "What does it matter to you, you spoke like you hated him earlier, even though it's obvious he li-."

"With all due respect captain, I am well aware that he doesn't like me. But I certainly do not hate him. I do notappreciate you jumping to conclusion!" My eyes narrowed despite the fact I was having a hard time breathing under the spiritual pressure of this guy.

"Why?" A voice from behind me rang out. At first I thought it was the captain before me and prepared to lash out at him. Then I realized it wasn't. My eyes widened and I spun around.

I set eyes on Akihito and my felt immediate relief. There wasn't a scratch on him. But my relief was almost immediately replaced with shame. Nodding a quick and absent goodbye to the captain, I looked away and headed towards the door, eager to escape such a place. I could hear footprints behind me as I walked away and did my best to ignore them. I walked for a good ten minutes before I finally stopped and spun around, looking into Akihito's face.

We were now in the meadow near the ninth division with nobody around. I sighed and waited for him to say something. After a couple minutes of staring into each other's eyes and no words being spoken, I decided to break the silence with a simple question. "Why are you following me?"

It almost seemed to catch Akihito off guard and he put on a face that said he was thinking about it. Then a small frown spread across his face. "Zlorecile…" He started, as if stalling for time. I would have none of it.

I put a hand up. "Akihito. I don't want apologies. Frankly, I hate liars second most in this world. And now I have no choice than to see you as nothing but a liar. Our friendship was nothing but fake to you. One. Big. Lie. So I don't want to hear any more ok? No more lies. You're not sorry, you never would have said it if you were." I turned away, leaning against a nearby tree. I felt hands wrap around me.

"Zlorecile…" He argued back. I pulled out of his arms, noticing he tightened his hold but let go eventually and let me step away. I turned back to face him.

"Won't you listen to me at least? You misu-" He was cut off as I put a finger to his lips with a small smile.

"No. You had your time to talk. You had all the time in the world these past… what was it? 200? 250 odd years we have been together? You had plenty of time to talk. You kept secrets from me. I kept secrets from you. We were together out of convenience. Those nights we spent together were out of a desire to quench our loneliness. Bit here in the soul society…" I sighed but didn't give him enough time to argue. "Here in the soul society… we both have new friends. You have your girlfriend, and nearly all of your classmates, and the members of the eleventh division. And I have…"

I found myself trailing off, realizing that I was still a loner. I shook my head. "Akihito, we don't need each other anymore." The words almost stuck in my throat. I was lying. He was the one who didn't need me. I needed him though, so badly. I couldn't imagine life without him in it. But this was the way things were supposed to be.

"Is that what you really think?" I hear Akihito's voice crack. "That I was your friend out of desperation? That all I ever felt for you was… I mean… that all we had was a mutual need to have someone nearby?" His deep eyes stared into my soul.

"Zlorecile, are you serious? You can't be! You mean to tell me that all this fucking time I was absolutely nothing to you?" I heard his voice rise slowly. "You are so selfish! All you ever care about is yourself. Have you ever actually given thought to how I feel? Have you?"

"Oh well forgive me for not realizing how much you hate me before! I thought I was atuned to your feelings. I thought it was all simple. I thought you were my best friend, that you were in love with Karie and that you were happy that way! Excuse me for having no way of knowing the hell I was putting you through!" My temper was now rising too. I was stunned at the audacity of this man.

"Hate you? Why the hell do you think I hate you? You don't even know! You understand nothing. You have always thought you were too good for everyone else! Maybe if you smiled around others, maybe if you didn't avoid and glare at anyone who went your way, you wouldn't be such a fucking looser! I am the only one who could get through to you, who could put up with your damn loner attitude .You feed me bullshit about not needing me anymore but you are wrong. You DO need me. You always did and always will!" He shouted with his face inches from mine.

His words stung. Looser, loner, too great for everyone else. "You really don't know me at all do you? Well I may have put you through hell… But, ever since I followed you to this place, I have been living hell. You know, you could have at least told me how you feel before I chased you here. Perhaps it would hurt less then. But maybe it wouldn't have mattered. That's how pathetic I am. I'm like a stray dog, chasing after its master, oblivious that it has long been abandoned." I turned around to leave.

"Zlorecile w-wait I didn-"

. "Well… I will see you around seventh seat Akihito…" I cut him off. I then smiled and shunpo away without any other thoughts, leaving him alone in the meadow.


	7. Begging For A Missunderstanding

~2 weeks later~

~Dream~

"Zlorecile? What's wrong?"

"Mommy! "

"I met someone today… He's different from the rest of the bums around here."

"Who? Who? Who? Is he a new arrival?"

"No, he has been around for a while…"

"Then what's his name?"

"He doesn't have one."

"Mom! You don't mean that scary man with the spiritual energy do you?"

"Yes honey."

"But mom! He'll kill you if you get near him."

"No he won't"

"How do you know?"

"Cause you will be the one to do that deed Zlorecile… You will kill mommy."

~End dream~

I jolted awake in a heavy sweat. Putting my heat in my hands I shook it vigorously. It was just a dream, and yet the voice had sounded so real. Her voice. Soft like a mothers should be, and yet holding wisdom beyond her years. It was too much. I wiped some sweat off of my brow and stood up. That past was gone, and thinking of it would do nothing for me.

I was once again atop the roof of the eleventh division. It was still dark out and the moon was still visible. I guessed it was around 4 in the morning, but I could be wrong. Looking around, a cold breeze picked up and reminded me that winter was almost here and I was going to have to find another place to stay. It wasn't something I was looking forward to.

I sighed and walked toward the training grounds. Immediately I began swinging my sword around needlessly. I had been training early in the morning, as I knew that when the captain woke up I would not have the opportunity. He seemed to love making a sport of torturing me. It was better than killing me at least, which is what he had every right to do. So absorbed in my thoughts and fighting invisible hollow, my ears almost missed the loud sniffling coming from the side. I froze, about to yell at whomever it was for disturbing me. But I froze when I saw who it was.

The pink haired lieutenant was standing to the side. Her nose was running and at first I thought she was crying. Then I realized her face was normal and that the runny nose must have been because of the cold weather. I sighed and sheathing my Zanpakuto walked over to her. "Lieutenant, Why are you out so early?"

She looked up with a blank stare. "Cause I had planned to go fishing but Byakuya ran out of fish." She said blankly. I just looked at her, wondering if she had been dreaming or if she was really stealing the captain of the sixths fish. I decided I didn't want to know.

With a small sigh I took a seat next to the small girl. "So you normally get up at five in the morning?"

"It's four thirty."

"ok then do you normally get up at "

It was weird, talking to the lieutenant as an equal. She seemed to be my only friend around here. Akihito avoided me, Kenpachi hated me, the third and fifth seat just ignored me, and the rest of the guys just slapped my ass and then got pummeled into the wall by Yachiru. I hadn't talked to Akihito since the day in the forest. He had been promoted once more to 6th seat.

I kept on wishing, praying he would come find me and tell me that I had misheard. That he was talking about someone else and it was all a misunderstanding. But this wasn't some story where everything worked out fine. This was real life. I knew he wasn't coming back. I knew I should hate him for deceiving me. But I didn't. I loved him still. It was funny; I always thought that love was something you could throw away, that you could fall out of in one day. But it turned out it wasn't… It wasn't…

So there I sat for nearly three hours chatting with the lieutenant about everything from steamed buns to possible love interests. This little girl, who served as a painful reminder of my past, was turning out to be my only friend. I had to laugh at the irony behind it. I honestly didn't want it to end. But it did. The end came in the form of an officer of the stealth forces appeared behind us. He knelt and I only sighed. Yachiru didn't seem to like that.

"Come back later. We're busy."

"F-forgive me lieutenant, I have a message for Zlorecile no last name of the eleventh division!" The man said, louder than necessary.

I only sighed and decided I would save the man from the little girl's wrath. "Yes?"

"The head captain has requested you in his office immediately."

"Very well." I gulped at his words. He left and I looked over to Yachiru. "I suppose I should go see what he wants…"

When I entered the head captain's office, I was both surprised and worried to see captain kurotsuchi there. His reputation had not escaped me. I swallowed hard and bowed lowly.

"You may rise." Came the command from the lips of the head captain. I did so but made sure not to meet the eyes of the clown captain. He made me more nervous than the eleventh division captain. Something that was hard to do.

"When was the last time you fed?" The question came from the captain of the twelfth. I looked at him with wide eyes, not liking this one bit. I looked to the head captain, who only nodded an ok. It reassured me slightly, as I trusted him. I looked at the ground.

"Four days…"

"And what is the longest you have ever gone without such a supplement?"

"A week …" I admitted. I was fearful I had done something wrong. I didn't want to get in trouble, but I couldn't help the impulses. I looked at the ground, nervous as ever. And at the mention of feeding I felt a small thirst rise in me. I forced it back down. I couldn't think of that now.

A long silence followed before the captain of 12th spoke. "Would you like to feed."

My ears perked up, expecting a sick joke. I clenched my fist. "Forgive me captain, but I am not sure I understand what you mean by that."

"Stupid girl! I am asking whether or not you would like to feed right now!" I realized that this captain seemed to lack patience.

"Calm yourself kurotsuchi." The head captain finally intervened. I was almost surprised when kurotsuchi obeyed. I thanked the stars for my luck. "Bring him in."

I cursed them a second later as I saw someone being wheeled in on a chair. Not only was he in a chair, but he was strapped in. My bad feeling had been proven right. I should have run when I came here. The man was wheeled right up to me. His face was not ugly, but not to the standards of the ninth division captain. He wore white robes with a thick bracelet on his arm. I flinched as kurotsuchi approached me.

"We would like to study more about creatures such as you, just in case more appear. The most deadly thing to us right now is lack of knowledge. It is what brought upon the disaster with Aizen and tousin and gin. To prevent more of these crisis' from happening we need to find out what weaknesses you may have, and I have asked Captain Kurotsuchi to help me with such. I want you to come here every day at 8 o'clock for the next week." The head captain continued. I put a bad taste in my mouth to be referred to as if I wasn't normal: As a creature. I supposed they were right though. I may be half shinigami… but the other half of me was something not even I know about.

"Shall we begin?" the masked captain interrupted my thoughts, now holding a clipboard and staring intently, he looked like a little boy who had found a new toy. A very creepy little boy. I sighed. It seemed I had no choice in this matter. I was lucky they were letting me live. I nodded my head reluctantly.

"What sort of symptoms do you have?"

"Excuse me?"

"Symptoms you simple girl: Sweating or increased heart rate or dilated pupils and the like!"

I blinked. How the fuck was I supposed to know if my pupils were dilated? "I don't feel any different from normal."

"Very good. Now I want you to lean over the man. Yes, Just like that."

"Why me…."

"What was that girl?"

"...nothing…"


	8. An Angel On Top

The grave was a sad excuse for a grave. It was nothing more than a block of wood sticking out of the mud on the hill. No name to tell who it was that was buried there. Only a single pink carnation was there to indicate that. The meaning of the flower was something I held dear: I'll never forget you. The carnation was being battered by the rain, and so was I. It was almost midnight. I had been sitting besides the grave for the past few hours. The last month had seemed like a year. I had made enemies with my captain, been discovered by the head captain, had experiments conducted on me by the twelfth, and lost my only friend in the world only to have made a new unexpected one with the same name that haunts my past. I let out a loud sigh.

"Mom… Remember how I promised that as soon as I had enough money I would buy you a better grave? I may be able to sometime soon now that I am in the soul society. I promise to get you a pretty one, with a big angel on top. You'd like that huh? The Irony of it." I smiled softly, looking at the grave. I had long since cried all the tears I had on this grave, and yet more always seemed to want to come. They wouldn't this day though. I bit my bottom lip.

"I found him for you." I said softly after a long silence passed. "The one with no name. I found him and you wouldn't believe where. The seireitei, in the eleventh division. He's a captain now, as strong as ever. He still doesn't eat his vegetables, and still lies around all day. You would be ashamed if you saw him."

I chuckled softly. "And Akihito... he lost all that weight. He is probably one of the cutest guys in all of the seireitei now. But I am sorry. I know you always told me that we should get married… I know you made me promise to never let him go, to love him endlessly the way you loved HIM…" I sniffed a little.

"But.. I can't keep that promise. I did everything I could… I swear. I loved him. I love him. But... It wasn't meant to be. He has moved on. The girl he chose is nice though. She is just what you always wished I would be: Kind, gentle, and a healer. She is filthy rich too, a noble. So I am sure she will make him happy." Running a hand through my soaking wet hair, I sighed. I knew I should get to bed. But I couldn't.

I stared at the grave. All this time, I still wasn't able to leave it. I visited it frequently. Sometimes every day, sometimes once a month. I hadn't visited it since I had graduated though. I still couldn't get over it. I was still unable to move on. After all this time. I slammed my fist against the ground, mud splashing up and into my face. "Dammit all! This isn't right. I stand here before you mom, and it isn't right. I keep waiting, wanting someone to tell me it wasn't my fault! But they won't. Not even Akihito! And why? Because that would be a lie. Because it WAS my fault. There was no accident. It wasn't close to murder, it WAS murder. And… and I thought by now I would have received some kind of peace. I thought that after 200 years I would have recovered, that I would have come to terms with it by now. But I haven't. I still feel that this is so wrong! I can't even ask you if you ever forgave me! What the fuck am I supposed to do when just being here; I know that your death wasn't supposed to be… I... mom… I'm still so sorry." I cried out, but no tears came.

Anger, regret, sorrow. I let it all out in shouts. It was late and there was probably nobody nearby. So I shouted. Something that had always made me feel better when I was younger. I shouted towards the seireitei. I shouted my apologies, my regrets, my pain. I could have kept it up until I lost my voice, but footsteps behind me made me freeze mid-scream and turn around. My heart almost stopped at what I saw. I couldn't believe I had been so preoccupied to notice. I widened my eyes and didn't know how to react.

"Zlorecile It's the end of fall and near midnight. You wanna get a cold?" Came the gruff voice that could not be mistaken for anyone other than Kenpachi Zaraki, captain of squad eleven. My captain. Not knowing what else to do, I bowed politely.

"Captain… How long were you listening?" I couldn't help but ask. My heart and mind fearing the answer. I had a feeling that if it was more than a couple minutes that he would kill me where I stood. Hell, I couldn't help but feel that he would kill me anyways. He had the right to, but that didn't mean I wanted him to. I didn't exactly fear death, but I didn't wanna die if I could help it. The biggest hint to the time was that his clothes were as fully soaked as mine.

"About an hour." The answer was worse than what I had expected. "Yeah, I heard it all."

I bit my bottom lip hard. Rising, I turned around to flee to the roof of the barracks. A rough hand reached out and grabbed my bare arm, gripping it hard and making it impossible to pull away. I widened my eyes and looked back at the captain.

"C-captain!" I stuttered, feeling tremendous fear. I didn't know what would happen to me. This man could kill me right here and dispose of my body. Nobody would ever find out. He could bury me by my mom and that would be the end of it. I gulped.

"Don't stare at me like that. I just want to talk to you about some things." He said, his voice low. The rain running along his chest and face. He looked almost like a demon himself as he stood there, looking down at me from his towering height. I was out of options. I nodded my head in agreement.

"But not here." He continued. "I don't want Yachiru to overhear us." She said, motioning to the grave. I solemnly nodded in understanding, still afraid he would strike me down at any time without any warning.


	9. Willing

I sat in the captain's office. Both of us had showered and dressed. Kenpachi in a night yukata, and me in a simple blue nightgown with trim that matched my silver hair. In my hands was a cup of hot chocolate. I took varying sips from it, never taking my eyes off the captain. We had been sitting like that for a good five minutes, just staring each other down. I refused to start the conversation though. He finally sighed, his large shoulders heaving.

"Where have you been sleeping?" He asked, catching me offguard. That wasn't what I had been expecting. I raised an eyebrow as if waiting for the catch. None came.

"On the roof." I admitted. Lying to this guy didn't seem like the brightest of ideals when you are alone with him at one o'clock in the morning.

"Winter is coming, what will you do then?"

"Dunno. Find a tree." I half joked. He only depend his frown but said nothing more on the subject.

"And showers?"

"Late at night or early in the morning. So far the guys haven't seemed smart enough to figure out when I bathe so I am in the clear."

"I see."

Getting a little annoyed with what I sensed was staling; I decided to just be brave. "Captain… What exactly did you call me in for?"

"We need to talk about some things."

I felt my eye twitch. "Like? If I am not mistaken I do believe that we have covered all the basics. You hate me, I understand that but can't switch out, so we avoid each other as much as possible and you pretend I don't exist." I stated rather matter-o-factly.

Kenpachi growled, and I had to refrain from wincing back. I may seem tough to everyone else, but I knew when someone could cleave me in half… and when someone very likely would.

"Listen here girl. You're right. It would probably bring me some great pleasure to ram my blade into that pale little skin of yours but… The head captain seems to think you have some potential. Now, I need some answers and you are going to give them." He leaned forward, putting down his cup. Swallowing hard I held onto mine.

"Y-yes…" I asked.

"The other day. In my office. What was that?" He asked, staring into my eyes. I was unable to look away despite the fact that I felt as if he was looking into my soul.

"I… It was just a whim you looked hot for a seco-" I started to lamely lie but was cut off by a growl and his hand reaching out and encircling my neck. It was a strong grip and barely left enough room to breathe. His eyes were narrowed dangerously, his gaze threatening.

"Don't try to lie to me."

I nodded. "Ok, Ok... just let go." He did so and I rubbed my neck, glaring back at him. "You should know. Hasn't the head captain told you everything?"

"Tch, all that geezer told me was that you sucked energy outta people. That hardly explained the kiss and those feelings."

"I…" Stuttering, I looked down, not knowing if I should continue.

"You what? Tell me how this happens. If you don't I'll just kill ya right now."

I didn't doubt what he said for a minute. I took a sip of my hot chocolate and then set it down. I put my head down, allowing some of its wet silver strands to cover my face. "I can eat regular food, and it will give me energy. Enough to last a while. But I need another source or I will slowly waste away into madness. At least that is what I have here, I have never been able to see for myself..."

"How does it work? That feeding shit?"

"If I connect through a kiss or.. Other things…" A slight blush covered my face. "Then I can absorb the energy of the man I am with. "

"Men? What about women?"

"It doesn't work that way. Only men. I can suck out some of their spiritual energy. It will drain them sometimes, sometimes till death."

"And that feeling that came with it? And the memories?"

"That's just part of it. I don't really know. The feeling is a defense mechanism. It is made to get the male addicted."

"And you?"

"And me…"

"What about the memories? When you kissed me I saw a few bits and pieces of stuff. I saw a clip of you on a porch with Yachiru behind you, brushing your hair. I saw you and Akihito playing in the river. Naked might I add." He stated. The way that he said it, as if it was no different from telling the weather made me blush.

"That can come too. I never worried about it cause usually…"

"The guy is too distracted to notice am I right?"

I nodded my head. I didn't like this conversation and for the first time in I didn't know when, I felt embarrassed to the point of being queasy. I was thankful for my long silver hair, as I was sure my cheeks were a shade of deep red.

"How often do you have to feed?"

"Depends… Longest I have lasted was a week and a half. To be comfortable I should feed every day though."

"Then why dontcha?"

I shrugged. "Well the supply for one. Can't exactly suck energy out of the same guy every day without killing him unless he's captain level. Even then it can have negative effects. If I went around using a dozen different guys it would attract attention." I said, leaving out the fact that it was also because I disliked hurting people.

"I see…" Was all he said. I looked at the ground, chewing on my lip. Just as I was wondering if we were done though, Zaraki spoke up once more.

"What you said at the grave." I visibly tensed. "At Yachiru's grave. I never found out how she died exactly. All I know is th-"

"I killed her." I cut him off. "I killed my own damn mom. Happy now that I have said it? That's what you wanted right?"

"Shut up!" He snarled, forcing me to obey. "I want to know how."

I shook my head. "I told you."

"I want specifics."

"Too bad." I said. This seemed to make him mad. He reached out for my throat again, but stopped when he saw that I had no reaction.

"Tch, whatever. I will get it from you eventually. Now as a captain, I can't let you sleep outside and shower with guys…" He rolled his eyes; something made me think that it wasn't him who came up with this.

"I am fine how I am sir."

"No yer not. Winter is coming and I think some of the men are starting to figure out your shower schedule, think I saw some guys peeping though."

My mouth hung open for a second and I fiddled with the hem of the nightgown. "Oh…"

"Yeah. So you are not sleeping outside any longer." The finality in his voice almost made me feel like a little kid in comparison.

"Will I be getting my own room because I hate to break it to you but I really am against sleeping in the barracks.."

"Ya think I'm stupid?" HE asked. I took it as a rhetorical question and wisely chose not to answer. "Yer moving in with Yachiru."

My mouth hung open. I didn't argue but just stared at him.

"But until we manage to fix her room to a livable condition and install another bed, you will be sleeping in my room." He stated.

I stood up. "C-captain! That's highly inappropriate. I mean, I am a girl and you are a guy and um.. um…" My face was now exposed in all its crimson glory. "C-cant I sleep with Yumichika?"

That seemed to get a small smirk from the captain. "Yumichika would never let someone sleep with him besides Ikakku. Finicky sissy he is. Therefore it's my room. Don't worry I wouldn't touch someone like you anyways." He said as he stood up.

"Follow me." He ordered. Reluctantly I stood up and I knew there would be no argument.


	10. Nonexistant Sex

Bleak, blank, and oddly clean. That was the easiest way to describe Kenpachi Zaraki's room. A single bed-bigger than any I had ever seen before-, and a dresser with a mirror on top was all that could really be found. I could tell that he didn't have much need for luxuries. Subconsciously, without permission, my eyes kept darting to the bed.

"Stop looking like that. It's pissing me off." A growl came from the looming figure behind me. I swallowed herd and turned around to look at him. He just shrugged and walked over to the bed, plopping himself down. I staid standing where I was, unmoving and not daring to say a word.

"Its one thirty in the fucking morning, I am sleeping. So shut the hell up and go to bed." He growled despite the fact that I hadn't said anything. He turned over to face the wall and I was amazed the bed didn't break under his intimidating form or spiritual pressure. I looked around, unsure of what to do and highly uncomfortable.

Looking at the captain, it seemed he was asleep. Planning to skip out and go back to the roof, I was stopped by a rumble. "Doesn't even fucking think about it?" Zaraki said, putting a stop to my plans. I sighed in defeat and instead walked to the opposite side of the room, curling up against the wall.

Despite the fact that I was in the presence of someone who would very likely murder me, I found sleep came easily. Perhaps it was because I knew enough about this man to know that he would never attack someone while his back was turned.

When I awoke the next day, the room was lit with a golden. I bolted upwards, almost checking to see if I was still alive. Once I had reassured myself that I wasn't missing any body parts, I stood up and looked around. My captain was gone (Thank the heavens) and he had left on a single lamp for me to see. His curtains were drawn. Unable to fight the inedible: one more day. I walked to the bed. On it laid my bag of stuff. He must have had someone retrieve it. I put a finger to my mouth, wondering why he was acting weird. He wasn't being nice, but he wasn't being as threatening as before. I ran a hand through my hair, tousling it like I always did when upset.

I dug through my bag and noticed that my clothes weren't there. They were all dirty so logic told me that they must be in the laundry room. Not wanting to walk to the laundry room looking weird, I moved to the dresser and looked for a brush.

I happened to notice my reflection in the mirror. Silver hair with a slight tint of blue; Pale green eyes that were wide, and Light pink lips. All on skin that rivaled a sheet of paper. I was often told I was beautiful. I didn't know it was true or not. I used to stare in the mirror, looking at my reflection carefully and trying to decide if I was pretty or not. It seemed like a mundane task, but I couldn't figure it out. I thought I was pretty, but that was me. I didn't know if it was because I was so used to my face that it looked good to me now or what. I never seemed to be able to look at it from another person's point of view. I used to ask Akihito and he would just give me some answer that I found entirely too cheesy. Telling me I was beautiful. He said I was silly for thinking I wasn't. He also said that the reason for my beauty was because of my demon side. HE said demons had to be beautiful to ensnare their prey. It was then that I stopped wishing to be beautiful.

Looking closely now, I noticed that my hair was messy and my robe disturbed. If someone saw me right now it would probably look like me and the captain had had a rough night. The thought actually made me smile, showing white teeth with a slight point to them. Not enough to notice unless you looked carefully though. For that I was glad. I took my robe and pulled it down a little more, exposing the peaks of my breast. I also loosened it so that it showed more of my legs. I pulled the right side up a little. Next I moved my hair to one side and jutted out my lips to make them look swollen. I laughed hard at the image of myself.

Just then someone knocked on the door. Without thinking I went and opened it. Akihito was standing there."Zlorecile?" He blinked and looked me over from head to toe.

I bowed slightly, "Sixth seat Akihito." I greeted, fighting emotions that threatened to spill at the sight of him. I remained bowed, waiting for him to wave me up. Well… until I noticed that by doing so with my robe already pulled down, I was giving him a good view. Freezing, my cheeks burned red and my mind raced, things clicking together. I swallowed and stood up quickly with a yelp and reached over, slamming the door in his face.

Several seconds later I had readjusted my robes, my hair was put back right-though still disheveled- and my lips no longer jutting out and looking swollen. I reopened the door, feeling a need to explain myself. "A-Akihito this…" I stopped myself.

I was no longer attached to him. I owed him nothing. What right did strangers have to explain their personal life to another? "How can I help you...?" I corrected myself.

"I was looking for the captain, the soutaichou wanted to see him…" He said.

"Oh he left before I woke up..." I said before mentally kicking myself in the ass. I was only making things worse.

"Zlorecile… Are you really… I mean…." Akihito started and trailed off.

"What?" I asked, all formalities temporarily forgotten.

"Zlorecile are you and the captain, do you have that kind of relationship?"

I wondered if I should lie and say yes, just to garnish his reaction. It wouldn't be fair to the captain though. "No Akihito. I needed a place to stay. He said I couldn't sleep on the roof anymore and dragged me back here. I slept on the floor. Besides that one kiss you walked in on, he has never touched me."

"Oh…" Akihito mumbled. I had a feeling he didn't believe me. I sighed.

"Look Akihito. I don't care if you believe me or not. I was sleeping up on the roof. It was raining, and winter is coming. He said I couldn't do that anymore, hell, I think he was ordered by the soutaichou. He also said that I couldn't bathe in the bathhouse with the guy anymore as some of them were getting smart and learning my schedule. That is all there is to it I swear." I was getting sick of it all and found my patience wearing thin.

Akihito looked up with a relieved sigh. "I'm glad he-" He stopped and furrowed his eyebrows. "Wait, you were sleeping up on the roof? And showering in the regular bathhouse? This whole time" HE waited for my nod before he glared and let out a frustrated sigh.

"Zlorecile! Why didn't you tell me! I have my own room as a 6th seat! You could have stayed with me. I could have gotten Ikakku-san to let you use his shower or something."

I swallowed. This conversation was getting to friendly again. If I let it continue I knew I would end up missing the old days. "With all due respect seventh seat Akihito, it would be extremely inappropriate for me to sleep in your room. You are a male and have a girlfriend."

His face seemed to drop along with my heart. "OF course.. Sorry to bother you…" He turned to go.

Just as he was leaving another figure appeared. Ikakku. He came trotting over in all his bald glory. He put a hand around Akihito in a friendly way, raising an eyebrow as to why I was in the captain's room. It was pushed to the back of his mind as he looked back at Akihito with a large grin. "Akihito my man! Congratulations on your engagement! Ya nailed that sexy blond babe! A noble too. Can't believe her family agreed to let her marry. I think it's so that she can become the head of the clan but jeesh!"

My eyes grew wide. "W-wedding?"

"Yeah! He's getting married in one month to this day! Apparently this little bugger wants a snowy wedding to make us all freeze." Ikakku laughed. "Well I got to get back to Yumichika but congrats!"

With that Ikakku left as swiftly as he came, leaving me staring into the eyes of Akihito, who was not looking at me.


	11. Ripping a Hole

It was odd. I felt as if my very being was being ripped apart, and it became a chore to breath or even smile. And yet, as I stared into his eyes I felt almost at peace. I knew it was probably shock but I would take advantage of it for now. I forced a small smile that probably looked rather convincing. I placed a hand on Akihito's shoulder. "Congratulations Akihito. You deserve her." I closed my eyes for a few separate reasons, mostly to block out that look on his face. He looked almost guilty. "Congratulations…" I whispered it this time. With that I turned to leave. Akihito didn't move to stop her and I was eager to get away before this shock went away.

I walked down the hall slowly, ignoring the looks and cat calls that the men of the eleventh division shot my way. My heart was breaking, but it was doing so slowly. What surprised me most was that as I walked, I didn't cry. Not a single tear was shed from my eyes. My feet wandered on their own, a blank look in my eyes. As if I was in denial. My first stop the laundry room where I changed into some more appropriate clothes. A simple outfit of a blue tank top and baggy sweats. I grabbed a jacket that was two sizes to big just in case.

Then I wandered out of the dorms. I knew where I was heading. I was going to my mom's grave. I needed to tell her the news, to ask her what I should do.

I walked out of the soul society, not caring that I hadn't asked permission. I didn't care. I walked up the hill and almost made it to my mom's grave. But as I came close to it, I stumbled once. It was all it took, I fell down and didn't bother bringing my hands up to meet my face. I couldn't decipher how I felt. Numb perhaps. Heartbroken. Happy almost, and yet so sad. The dirt, muddy from the night before smeared on my face. I didn't get up or even blink until I had heard a familiar voice.

"I miss ya," Came the captain, Zaraki Kenpachi's brash voice. I thought he was talking to me until I turned my eyes and didn't see him. I pushed myself up and looked through the grass, weeds, and bushes. I widened my eyes ever so slightly. Zaraki was standing over my mother's grave. His face was tough, angry and hard to read as always. I swallowed, knowing I shouldn't be hearing this, listening to him talk to her. And yet I couldn't pry my eyes off of it. Perhaps it was the distraction; perhaps it was revenge for the previous day. I didn't know, but I didn't care about morals right then.

"That girl, yer damn adopted daughter came to join my squad. The idiot…" He spoke lowly. "She reminds me of you. The damn bitch."

HE shook his head. "Yeah yeah, I know I ain't supposed to use that language but I will. She is just like you and it pisses me off. She may not look like ya much, but her attitude is the same. Tough on the outside, and yet she seems way too soft. Her eyes carry that same look, that's what gets me the most. I hate lookin' at her. Ta make it worse she is having trouble with that kid, that Akihito one. Pisses me off to watch it; Makes me wanna kill him. But I won't."

I couldn't tear away from it now. The big figure sat down next to the cross and looked over the seireitei. "I hate her. And yet I don't. Confusing, worthless emotions. I know she is sorry for killing you. Hell, I don't even know if she really killed you. She won't tell me. I will get it from her eventually."

"I know you want me to forgive her. But how can I? Fuck, this just confuses me the most. Pisses me the fuck of! And her damn powers are another thing all together! I don't know what the hell she did but I can't stop thinking about that kiss. Yeah, she kissed me. I feel kinda sick about it; Like I cheated on ya with yer own daughter. What makes it sick is that just looking at her, I wanna do it again." With this he let out a small chuckle. "Yeah I know what you would say to that. You guys had what? A ten year difference wasn't it? She looked about 8 or 9, you 18. You would say it wasn't too much. Kind of weird to think of it like that. Damn, I hate my spiritual energy. I haven't aged at all these past 100 years. Zlorecile grew up though. Damn did she grow up. Ya should see the way my men hound after her. Hell, they would probably kill to kiss her. HAH! They'd kill themselves to kiss her once they discovered what it felt like. " I looked away at this. I felt bad for listening to this, and at the same time odd. I didn't even know why. But it was distracting me from Akihito. I absorbed it with interest.

"Her powers. I wish you would have explained them to me. I know ya knew about them. What she did to me I don't know. Makes me wanna fucking kill her. Now I can't even kiss any other girls. Cause all I think of is that feeling. It wasn't normal."

Now I felt a little guilty.

"But yeah… I just wanted to let ya know how everything is going down. I need yer advice though. Should I kill her, fuck her, or both?" He laughed his chest rumbling with it. "Oh god I can just imagine the disapproving glance yer sending my way. Sorry but you know me." We sat in silence for a long minute that turned into several. That was before I heard the pitter of raindrops. It was raining just like the day before. The irony made me shake my head. Kenpachi didn't move though, he just sat in the rain.

I stood up and took of my jacket. I saw his stiffen as I approached. He knew it was me, he must have. Who else would visit this grave anyways. I raised the jacket and put it over his head, blocking it from the rain. "Captain, It's the end of fall. You wanna get a cold?" I growled, impersonating him from earlier. I double checked, making sure that the jacket was covering his entire head. I turned to go bit before I did I made sure I finished repeating what he had said to me. "How long have I been listening? About an hour. Yeah, I heard it all."

I turned around to go back to the dorms. But just like before, his hand reached out to grab my arm. I looked back with curiosity. He looked into my eyes for a long minute. His eyes full of curiosity, and his eyes lingering on the mud on my face before letting go of my arm. I started to walk back again. "The head captain wanted to see you."

I disappeared in a shunpo.


	12. Ironic Sadness

When I got back to the barracks, I found myself in the captain's room. It was odd. I hated him, I hated his room, and yet here I was, standing in it as if it was my own. It was something I now realized; that having a place to return to was something special. Even though his room was not my own, it was special. Secure. And right now, this room was a place for me to come out of my shock.

I didn't lock the door, but I made sure it was shut tight. I sat on the floor in the same spot as yesterday. I wished I had the brains to buy a blanket, but obviously I didn't. So there I lay, shivering slightly but otherwise comfortable. In shock and denial over the pending wedding, my heart still ached With Physical pain. It wasn't the first time I had felt this way, nor was it the last. But it was one of the worse. Possibly the very worse. I placed a gentle hand over my heart, as if wishing for it to be still. It wasn't. Not even as an hour passed. Or hat I supposed was an hour. Time seemed to be moving slow.

Closing my eyes as the door opened, I steadied my shaky breathing and pretended to be asleep. I could tell who it was. Even if I had no spiritual sensing abilities, when confronted with one as strong as this, even you felt it. Kenpachi Zaraki. My heartbeat increased as he walked close to me. I was scared of him and of what he could do.

Nothing apparently. Nothing came. I slowly opened my eyes just enough to see his shadow on the wall behind me. I swallowed. The jacket was still on his head. He took it off and threw it to the side. I was glad that he at least kept it on. HE stood there for a few minutes before moving.

"Tch, lazy ass. God, Can't believe the old man wants me to do that." He mumbled as he walked back out the door. As soon as the door closed I sat up and looked at it with confusion. I shrugged it off. I had spent enough time mourning over Akihito. Right now I needed to report to the captain and see if he needed anything done. Nobody ever seemed to order me around-asides from the guys and their smartass remarks- so I honestly had no duties. Luckily today everyone was gathering in the courtyard for an announcement on rankings.

I walked over to my back, and was amused to find that all my clothes were back in it. I took out a shihakusho. I rarely wore them because I found them inconvenient to fight in. But I didn't want the captain to have anything to get mad at me for. I looked in the mirror and with a large clip I gathered my hair and pinned it to the back of my head. It was messy, silver strands hanging down at random. It made me look more like a jungle woman than a shinigami. Perhaps it would make the men of the eleventh division step down.

As I walked out to the yard, I realized that my plan had failed. A chorus of whistles ensued. It was funny. When these men were alone they never were so cheeky. But put them together, and all of a sudden they were the bravest perverts out there. I noticed that Akihito was not in line. I swallowed. Usually he kept some of the guys off of me. I told myself it was because it was his duty as 6th seat, but at the same time wished otherwise. I was such a confusing girl.

I took my spot in line with the other recruits. We were arranged in five rows. The first row held seats 3-9th (with the exception of ikkaku and Yumichika who were always standing besides the captain and lieutenant.) The second row held seats 10-120th and the last three rows held the recruits who were to be slowly weeded out. I was in the third row. In the middle too. I stared intently at the ground. Men besides me, behind me, and in front of me. I hated being in formation more than anything, and it was worse when Akihito wasn't there. The captain and his four most powerful members had yet to show. People were starting to relax now. This was bad for me.

"Hey" A rough voice came from my left. I ignored it and continued to stare at the ground. "hey!" He said again a little louder.

"You ignoring my friend here? That's pretty rude." The one to my right called out. I tried to hold back my anger. I hated men.

"I think the little bitch is. She must think that just cause she's the only girl here she gets special treatment." A guy from behind me said.

"Oh should we show you what special treatment you can get here?" The one to the left whispered in my ear. The one on my right reached out to place an arm around my shoulder.

I glared at the ground. "Take your arm off of me." I warned. They laughed. I got a tick mark on my forehead.

"Aww so cold to us. C'mon, I think we should get you used to a man's touch." The man whose mouth was close to my ear whispered. I noticed that almost every eye was on me. I fought to retain my embarrassment and anger.

It was lost as soon as the whispering man reached out and grabbed my ass.

"You wanna die?" I asked darkly glaring at him. I saw him gulp a little but otherwise remain like that, he grappled harder.

Before he saw what happened, my fist was in his face and he flew forward, crashing into the wall and creating a pie of dust around him.

I didn't give time for the other one to react. I grabbed the wrist of the hand that was around me with my right hand. With no emotion on my face I took my other arm and sneaked it behind his head. I ducked behind his arm and then with my hand on his neck and one on his wrist, I shoved his head down and raised my knee up to meet it. I heard his arm pop, though I knew not what exactly I did or how much harm. I let go then and he fell to the ground, clutching his broken nose with his good arm and screaming and cursing from the pain. "Fucking bitch! You fucking dislocated my shoulder! You ruined my face! You are going to pay for that you fu-"

He was cut of as I placed a foot on the back of his head and shoved it into the ground to shut him up. It was then that the captain walked into the field. Ignoring the man under my foot I stood at attention-or as well at attention as I could with a man under my foot. He didn't seem to recognize anything wrong for a minute as he stood at the front with the lieutenant on his shoulder and the fifth and third seat at his sides. I swallowed, hoping that they would just announce and leave. It wasn't my lucky day.

The captain's eyes met mine and then looked to the left and right of me, noticing nobody there. He walked over slowly. I looked down at the ground. He stepped up beside me.

"The fuck?" He mumbled looking at the figure besides me. "What the fuck! Do you mind telling me why you are standing on my member?"

I slowly stepped off of him. "Ano… well…." I stuttered, not wanting to tell him the whole truth out of embarrassment.

"Well?" he growled.

It was then that the man on the ground seemed to come to life. He stood up, gripping his dislocated shoulder with pain in his eyes. "I'll tell you what happened captain! The fucking bitch caught me by surprise and beat me into the ground for nothing! I did nothing and sh-"

"Shutup." The captain said, instantly making the man go quiet. "Tell me, why did you beat him into the ground?"

His tone of voice left for no debate. I looked to the side. "He put his arm around me…" I admitted. Feeling my cheeks burn at embarrassment for overreacting After a minute of no response, I looked up to see the captain glaring at me. His glare soon changed as I met his eyes. He turned it on the other man. "Get outta here." He said.

HE blinked. "Zaraki taichou?"

"Go to the fourth, get fixed up then come to my office. You here me?" He glared. His glare was enough to make me freeze. He then turned on me. I was afraid of him sending me to the fourth. It must have been my lucky day for all he did was smirk.

"You just got rid of who I was planning on putting as my 20th seat…." He shook his head and then looked to the spot on the other side of me. "Do I even wanna know where this one went?"

Timidly I pointed to the wall. The other guy was currently knocked unconscious in a crater. He just shook his head . "Pathetic… What did this one do."

"Um… he g-grabbed me." I looked down again. He raised an eyebrow and I realized he wanted me to clarify. "On the but..."

I expected laughter or a smirk or him saying that I deserved it. Instead he just pointed to two unranked officers and then to the boy. "Take him to the fourth and then to my office as well."

I raised an eyebrow. I wondered if he had really gotten mad because of what I think he had. I shook my head, of course not. He couldn't have. The captain was calling out names but I asnt listening. HE was just going over rankings.

"Zlorecile"

I wondered if Akihito would get another promotion. I figured he would. He was strong, not quite third seat material, but pretty close.

"Zlorecile!"

I wished that I could get a seat, but knowing that the captain has never seen me fight I don't thing, I doubted I would. It would mean responsibility too, and frankly responsibility wasn't something I liked mu-

"ZLORECILE!"

"WHAT!" I hollered back, mad at whoever it was who had interrupted my thoughts. I looked up glaring until I saw who it was who had called out my name. The captain. I rubbed the back of my head nervously. "C-captain?"

HE rolled his eyes. "Come up here and pick up your badge!"

I nodded and walked up to him with confusion. I bowed and waited for him to let me rise. He shoved a badge into my face. I took it and read the number on it. 7.

"Congratulations Zlorecile, seventh seat of the eleventh division." The whole squad repeated after him. I just stared at the badge in my hand. It was the worst day of my life, and at the same time the best.


	13. Sexual Encounters and Wedding Invitations

My pen scribbled furiously on the paperwork as I sat at the captain's desk and wrote. The whole time there was a deep frown and glare on my face. The captain had made me his seventh seat two days previous, but now I realized that was just an excuse to make me fill out paperwork: HIS paperwork. I snarled. I hated paperwork more than anything. I would rather go up against a Vasto lorde armed with only my own shoes than fill out another piece of paper. It seemed however, that it was not a possibility.

It was getting dark out. I had been working all morning; the pile of paper never seemed to decrease no matter how hard I tried. As I placed a piece of paper in a pile to have it signed by the captain, the pen fell out of my hand and onto the floor. Scooting my chair back, I bent over to pick it up but as soon as I reached my hand out for it, it curled into a ball.

My eyes widened. Not now! Not now! I mentally hissed. I fell down off of the chair and onto my knees. Pain racketed my body. My stomach cramped up, my throat closed slightly. My eyes watered. I gritted my teeth. The pain cursing through my veins would go away in anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. It was the worst thing you could experience. Slow and numbing. The cause of this pain attack was simple.

I hadn't fed for nearly 3 days. Since the head captain had stopped the feeding experiments much to the twelfth division captain's disdain. I had tried to learn not to feed so often, but it didn't seem to matter how often I did it. It wasn't like running a mile. You couldn't build up stamina for this sort of thing. It was like drinking only my form of drinking was much more deadly and painful.

A good five minutes passed and the pain just increased. I knew that this would not be a short attack. I clutched the ground, trying to stay on my hands and knees. Soon that was a definite impossibility. My hand went up to my throat as my vision flashed red. I fell to the ground, sprawled out in a pitiful sight. I wanted this to pass before anyone came in. For I knew that if whoever came in had any spiritual energy, they would be in danger.

The day just got worse. The door opened and in came the person whose spiritual energy I found irresistible. I clutched my throat harder, clawing into it almost to keep from launching at him. I tried to get the pain in my body to distract me. To move them away from that warm light that was his reiatsu.

"Zlorecile! What the fuck are you doing?" Zaraki growled out as he stepped closer to me. I widened my eyes as it got harder to take with each pending step.

"G-go away…" I ordered weakly.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" He took a few more steps closer.

"STOP!" I hollered out with what seemed to be the last of my strength. He did stop but he didn't go away.

"Please… go a-away…" My voice was now a whisper. My nails at my neck drawing a small amount of blood, I felt my eyes water with the effort to resist.

For a second it seemed like he would. He turned around and started to walk away. I hissed low as another wave came over me. That seemed to get him to stop. I felt hands wrap roughly around me and hoist me up, cradling me in one arm as if I was a child. He took his other hand and pried mine from my neck, frowning at what he saw. "Godammit Zlo! What the fuck did you do to yourself?"

I shook my head, staring at his lips. My eyes clouded over and I realized that I wanted them so badly. The pain was gone. It made things worse.

I started to reach out but he caught my hand. "No."

With that he took off to his room, which luckily was only about two minutes of suffering before we got there. My eyes were shut tight, body shaking.

He placed me down on the bed. "There. What do you need? What the fuck is going on?"

I shook my head. He stood over me and put his face too close. Without any more resistance I tilted my head in an attempt to make our mouths meet. His eye clouded over with lust as well, but he put a hand on either shoulder, holding me down. I was glad he was restraining me, but the side of me that controlled my impulses was furious. I was slowly losing to it. Hell, I had already lost. I pushed a little against him, trying to initiate the contact again.

"You need to feed don't you? You fucking little demon." He growled with a smirk. Now I knew very well he was making fun of me, but I didn't care. Right now I didn't care about anything. I just nodded my head slowly, eyes glazed over.

"What happens if you don't feed?"

"It goes away and comes back sooner." I growled low.

"And if you don't feed then?"

"Insanity"

He seemed too amused by this. I finally moved my gaze from his mouth to his eye. They were on me, peering into my soul and making me uncomfortable. The adrenalin was going away and the pain was coming back. I shut my eyes and winced as it started to rise in violent waves. I realized that this man was going to make me wait. He was going to torture me and enjoy every bit of it.

"You're too cruel…" I growled through clenched teeth.

HE said nothing and I opened my eyes just long enough to see him staring intently at me. I closed them and thrashed my head to the side, shivering violently. I tried to fight against him restraining me but it was no use.

"Would you like to feed?"

The question surprised me and I made no response other than a violent shiver.

"I'll take that as a yes." He said, his breath tickling my lips and letting me know that he was close to me. The temptation made me try to close the distance again. To no avail.

"Damn bitch, you should know that the guy's supposed to be the dominant one." He growled. And then he closed the distance himself.

~WARNING: heavy make out session and more… not quite full on sex though~

My eyes shot open as I felt his lips. They closed almost immediately as I was swept with pleasure that wiped away all the pain. His lips were rough and yet soft. Ironic. It was just as I had imagined it. I hadn't gotten a chance to really feel it last time, but this time I did. For a long second we just stayed like that, our lips pressed together. I was slowly absorbing energy in trickles. It wasn't enough though. I pressed my lips harder against him and let out a small whimper. I felt him smirk, which would usually have annoyed me but right then I could not care.

I let out a small gasp as one of his hands let go of my left shoulder and reached for my left breast. It was my most sensitive one and when carnal nature was increased with my powers, it was nearly too much to handle.

The gasp was all he needed for him to gain entry of my mouth. He dominated it quickly, his tongue exploring every inch of it. I didn't know what to do other than to concentrate on sucking the energy out of this man. I knew he had more than enough to sustain me. Hell, I could have fed off of him three times a day and he would be fine.

He kept at it, his mouth on mine and his left hand on me. I moaned into the kiss, my free arm pressing against his chest. He leaned on the bed and slowly crawled over me until he towered above me. His intimidating form so close to my body. I was nowhere near full yet. I knew from the way he was kissing me that he was fine with that.

He then sat up, taking me with him. I was on my knees and between his legs on the bed. He roughly lifted me and sat me so that I had to wrap my legs around his waist. I felt something nudge me and blushed when I realized that it was him and that he was getting extremely turned on by this. I was slightly afraid of him searching my memories, but at the same time was feeling too good to stop.

He wrapped his free arm around my waist and pulled me close. I let him. I wrapped both my arms around his neck and felt myself rubbing against him. It made him growl into the kiss. Then he surprised me by grabbing onto the front of my shihakusho and pulling it down, exposing my chest wrap and shoulders. I let out a low moan as he undid the bindings and pulled my shihakusho even further down to my waist.

I blushed at the exposure. My hands went out and slowly slid his own shihakusho down. It was large so it fell down easily. He didn't seem to mind. As soon as it was done he pressed our bare chests together and with his free hand began to open up the shihakusho down lower. He separated it and pushed it to the side, exposing that area as well. I was wearing white underwear that had more lace than necessary. I was secretly in love with underwear from the living world. Lace was my favorite type.

I opened my eyes again and saw that he was looking down at that area. I tightened my legs around him and obscured his vision. He didn't mind though, probably because now he could feel me against him better.

He finally broke the kiss. I whimpered at the loss but soon started to gather energy another way. He had laid me back down and moved me around so that I was sitting on his lap facing away from him. One hand on my breast while another one trailed down a little lower. A lot lower. It grabbed my roughly and traced the outside of my underwear in a teasing motion.

"How does that feel?" he mumbled into my neck, trailing kisses from my ear to shoulder. I didn't answer. He pressed a little harder on me and then didn't move at all. I hissed. "Fine..." I finally mumbled.

He smirked against my neck. His kisses trailed lower down my back. I brought up a hand and bit my knuckle, closing my eyes with a blush. He brought the hand from my breast to my arm and held onto it as he slowly moved his kisses in a trail down my back. With a movement of his hand he ripped the shihakusho of off me and onto the floor. I was now clad in nothing but my underwear before this man. The thought made my crimson state worsen.

He backed away from me and continued the kissing assault. Once he was halfway down my back he started moving back up with rough and yet gentle kisses. I let out a soft moan as he stopped massaging my core and griped my other arm with that hand. He kissed my neck once more and then my cheek. I turned my head to allow him access to my mouth again. We fought for dominance and he flipped me around again, pushing me onto my back on the bed. His hands retraining my arms as he towered over me.

He moved his head to nestle into the crook of my neck and I tilted mine back to give him better access. I told myself that this was only feeling good because of the ecstasy of feeding from him. It was a lie though and I knew it. The pleasure had never been this sweet so i knew well that this was not all my doing. He kissed a trail down my stomach as he had with my back; leaving marks that I was sure were going to turn red.

Once he got to my naval he stopped making me look down. He was staring up at me with a sadistic grin. I gulped. He went a little lower with his mouth and shivers ran through my body. He moved his mouth on top of my white underwear, but not quite touching, letting me feel his hot breath on me.I let out an almost mute moan.

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"F-fine…"

He started to nudge me. "How do you feel?"

"Ok…"

It still wasn't the answer he was looking for,

"How do you fucking feel?"

"G-good..." I admitted. It was all that he needed. His hand went down and rubbed me while he nuzzled me with his nose, breathing deep and taking in my scent. I blushed with embarrassment. If I had known that was to happen I would have made more of an effort to be more presentable.

"Good…" he mumbled. He reached up and pulled down the underwear, exposing me.

"Do you shave?" he asked.

"D-don't ask such embarrassing questions." I mumbled back.

"So you are naturally bare?"

I didn't respond only closed my eyes.

He seemed to like that. He moved his finger up and down my core, teasing still. I widened my eyes and wanted so much more. He stopped for just a minute and it made me realize that I was the only one receiving anything. Prideful as I was I wouldn't have it. I brought my hands down and grabbed his hair, pulling his head up.

"What the fuck Zlorecile." He cursed, staring at me with confusion. As my hand wandered down to his most sensitive area his eye glazed over with lust and he seemed to understand. He let me lay him down on his back.

Pulling my underwear back up, I straddled him backwards, sitting on his large chest. I untied his sash and his chest wrap and then discarded every clothing item he had on. When his member was free I found myself swallowing hard. This man was large, everywhere. I began to wonder if it was such a good ideal anymore. I couldn't back out now though.

I took a gentle hold of it, tickling the head with tempting touch, encircling it. I heard a small moan from the captain. I knew that the entire thing would never fit inside of my mouth but I could damn well try.

I timidly licked the head in curiosity. He cursed and that propelled me on further. I licked the entire length of it and then shyly put my mouth on it, sucking on just the tip. He thrust his hips upward as if wanting more. But I wanted him to wait.

He had his own revenge in mind. Grabbed my hips and forced me into a position with my back arched that allowed him to get a good view of me. He ripped the underwear off of me, making me moan and blush. The moan against him propelled him further. He stroked my entrance hard. I took him in a little deeper. He inserted two fingers into me and without warning began to mimic the movements he would make if he was inside of me. I clamped down on him.

"You're a virgin aren't ya?"

I didn't answer and he took that as a yes. He didn't feel deep enough inside to confirm it, but based on my reactions i was sure he could tell. He stroked and nudged me, making me moan more as I began to move in a repetitive fashion on him. He took hold of my hips and brought them further down.

He met my core with his tongue, sucking and nudging my most sensitive areas. I felt myself growing wetter by the minute and a small pressure began to build up.

"If you do that…" I didn't finish my sentence as it was too embarrassing. It was getting to be too much. I tried my very best to please him. Using my hands for what I couldn't fit in my mouth.

"Dimmit Zlorecile…"

"T-taichou…." I called out when I was close. He pressed himself deeper to me and then wrapped a hand around to the back of my head, moving me down further than I should have been able to go. With a loud groan we both released.

I swallowed the bitter substance and came up with a cough. I wiped off my mouth and chin on the bed sheet.

~END OF SEXUAL CONTENT~

He sat up and took hold of me, placing me on top of his chest. I had received more energy than I had received in a good time. I was full of energy and yet so tired. I panted slightly. He was breathing heavy as well, his large chest rising. We just laid there for a good few minutes. I yawned slightly, allowing myself to close my eyes. I would worry about the consequences of our actions later. I felt a blanket place itself over us.

"Fucking bitch…" Was the last thing I heard before falling asleep like that, on my captain's chest. If anyone had told me that I was going to end up in this man's bed like that, I would have punched them in the place and called the crazy.

When I woke the next morning I was still on the captain's chest, both of us naked. He looked fast asleep. "Fuck…" I murmured, pushing myself up to get away. I would run away and probably avoid him for the rest of the week. That was the kind of person I was. When I was embarrassed I ran. I always ran from my problems. The grass may not be greener on the other side, but if you keep on running you will never notice.

An arm shot out and wrapped around my waist, keeping me there. I looked down and into the glaring face of the captain. He didn't look happy and my first instinct was because we had done what we had done.

"I'm sorry taichou I… I don-" a growl from the captain shut me up. He looked into my eyes as if searching for something.

"Where were you going?"

I was a little surprised by the question; then again everything concerning this guy seemed to surprise me. I looked down at him, embarrassed that we were still naked. "I don't know…" I admitted.

"You just wanted to get away from me right?" He glared.

I started. "Yes, I thought you would be mad when you woke and found me still here so I just decided to leave and…"

He rolled his eyes and just pulled me to his chest. I let out a surprised yelp. "T-taichou?"

"Stay with me here for just a little longer." He growled. I only nodded into his chest, wondering what in the world had come over this man.

I felt his chest rise and fall with steady breathing and closed my eyes. I could hear his heartbeat if I listened closely. I was about to fall back asleep when the large captain sighed. He slid out from under me and stepped over to his dresser. I clutched the blanket to me, covering me up, and watched him dress. I was unable to peel my eyes away.

"Last night-"

"I understand." I interrupted him. I didn't want to hear the words so I thought they would be less painful if I said them. "I won't speak of it to anyone and we can pretend it didn't happen. I'm sorry…"

Zaraki stopped and glared at me. I shivered at that gaze. I didn't look away though and after a few more minutes he spun around, now fully dressed. "Whatever."

Sighing with ever present confusion, I looked at the door he had slammed on his way out. Standing up and picking up my ruined shihakusho I went over to put on my spare clothes. A white halter top and baggy sweats. My underwear was also ruined and luckily I had several pairs.

I got dressed and brushed my hair out. Sitting in front of the mirror I studied my appearance and soon realized that the halter top would not work out well. Not with the red marks the captain had left behind all over my body. I blushed and went to my bag. The only other clothing item I had left was a kimono. I gulped and reluctantly dressed in it. It was white with a blue sash. I sighed. I was going to stand out in this.

Walking out to the courtyard I found I was right. The captain and vice and the third and fourth seat were sitting on the porch in front of the office. I walked up to them. They stared wide eyed at me, even the little lieutenant. "I look that weird huh?"

Yachiru was the first to pop out of it. A grin spread from ear to ear. "Gin~chan! You look so pretty!"

I sweatdropped. Calling me silver was weird but… calling me after the 3rd division ex-captain was more than weird. "Ok?" I said, not quite knowing what to say to the bubbling girl.

She smiled and grabbed my hand, pulling me down to sit between Yumichika and Ikakku with a grin. "Let me do your hair ne? You can be like a Barbie doll!"

I gulped, suddenly afraid of the girl touching me. I opened my mouth to come up with an excuse when the captain spoke up instead. "Leave her alone Yachiru."

The little girl stopped and giggled. "Aww, Kenny is no fu- ooh mustache man!"

With that the little girl's attention was drawn elsewhere and she disappeared to go torture someone else. I just shook my head, feeling sorry for the poor soul.

"So what's up with the outfit Zlorecile?" Ikakku raised an eyebrow, focusing on me more than I would like. I swallowed.

"I didn't have any other clothes to wear."

"What 'bout that uniform that you wore yesterday?"

I fiddled my thumbs and peeked at the large captain through my messy hair. He just smirked. I glared. "I dropped it in a puddle…" I lied. They obviously didn't believe me.

Ikakku opened his mouth to say something else. Luckily Yumichika intervened. Or unluckily…

"It is such a shame." He pouted going to stand behind me, making me raise an eyebrow. "Such a shame that you are so pretty and yet you take no care of your appearance. No make-up at all, and it doesn't even look like you brushed your hair."

I glared at the ground, "Ah shut up pretty boy. I just don't like to wear fake skin." I growled. He seemed to glow at someone calling him pretty. I only shook my head. And then without warning I feel him tugging at my hair.

"OI! What the fuck are you doing to me!" I snarled, trying to move but his hand on my head stopped me.

"Simply making you look more appealing."

"Why?"

"Because you are a girl. Don't you want to feel beautiful?"

"NO! I really don't need any looks in this division…" I frowned. Ikakku laughed at this, knowing all too well what I meant. I heard a tsk tsk from Yumichika and he continued his assault.

Deciding that a struggle wasn't even worth it, I let him have his way.

"Zlorecile?"

I looked up to see the beautiful man I loved approach. Akihito had a confident walk and he stopped before us, bowing to the captain who had a frown on his face. He then took in my outfit and he smiled his signature smile. My eyes grew soft and sad.

"I heard you made 7th seat a few days ago. Sorry for not being there to congratulate you. I was busy with some of the wedding stuff…" He excused. My heart fell. I looked down at the ground for a long moment-to Yumichika-s annoyance- before bringing my head back up with a smile.

"It's OK sixth seat Akihito. Is everything with the wedding proceeding well?" I asked with as sweet a voice as I could, trying to seem friendly and casual and not like this was breaking my heart.

"Yeah! Everything is going well. We booked a nice venue and we got all the invitations wrote out. We also got the guest list and booked the caterer and the chef for the cake. It's going to be as grand as a noble's wedding should be. There is also a lot of paperwork for me to do in order to introduce me into the clan. They say that if it wasn't for my power I never would have been accepted." His face lit up into a grin that cut into my heart.

"Ah! I am so glad Akihito! I am sure that you will be very happy."

I noticed his lips twitch downward slightly but otherwise he still seemed ecstatic about his wedding. "Yeah I came here to give you all the wedding invitation." He produced four black envelopes. Black. It was as if he had remembered.

I had always thought of white as the loneliest color, for it was lack of color. I thought black as the color that meant you were no longer alone because it seemed like a mixture of all the colors in the world. So how could black be lonely?

I smiled sadly and reached out to take it. I read the date. January 1st. I realized that it was the 4th of December today. It was long overdue for snow.

It was weird the kind of things I was thinking about now. Instead of focusing on the wedding I was thinking of the weather. The thought made me smile.

"Zlorecile~ I'm done!" A pretty voice from behind me rang out. I turned and glared.

"Such an ugly expression." Yumichika pouted sitting down besides me.

"Well don't you want to look at what I did with your hair?"

"No"

"Tch, it's so wasted on someone like you!"

I just nodded my head lazily. I reached my hand back and felt the hair. I sweat-dropped, not even able to follow what he had done.

"OOH! Wedding and I am invited? I am going to have to pick out something lovely to wear. Ikakku we should go shopping in the living world tomorrow! Can we captain?" Yumichika gushed. I blocked out the sounds then.

I opened the envelope slowly. Inside there was a white card. On the front was a classy black design surrounding beautiful cursive letters: Akihito & Karie

I opened it and in the letter it read:

 

Wedding invitation

Before us lies the open road  
A future with love  
Please join us as we

Akihito Shoda and Karie Naraka

Join in our marriage on Saturday, the first of January  
At half past three o'clock in the afternoon in the Osborne garden. Reception to follow at the Naraka mansion.

RSVP

 

It was all done so beautifully. The finest paper and the design which must have taken hours to create. It reminded me that this truly was the best that Akihito would do. I smiled down at it, glad that he was marrying such a nice girl.

"Akihito, this is beautiful… I will definitely go to wish you the best of luck." I smiled.

He nodded his head. "Actually captain I was going to submit a request for a month of leave in order to get everything planned for my wedding and honeymoon."

"Tch whatever. Take the damn time. Yer no use to me anyways. Haven't seen any good hollow around." The gruff man said. I smiled a little at his attitude.

"Thank you captain!"

I stood up to leave, having seen enough.

"Wait Zlorecile where are you going?" Akihito asked me.

"Haven't decided yet…" I admitted. I turned around "Akihito… I am glad for you. You deserve this. You really do…" I whispered as I turned to go. A few tears escaped the corner of my eye.


	14. Bathing And Punching

The captain didn't come home that night, and I didn't see him all through the rest of the day. Ikakku said he was out on a mission. I should be glad that he was gone, but I wasn't. It was odd in many ways. It was dark now, I had finished all the captains' paperwork for the day, trained for two hours, and now I was in the captain's room getting ready to shower. I wanted to go shopping the next day, my day off. My paycheck had come in and though it was rather bleak, it was good enough to buy some clothes.

"Ok, one uniform, one sleeping yukata, one casual yukata, a blanket, a hairbrush, and some basic groceries for the month…" I spoke as I worth it all down on a list. I sighed, there went half my paycheck. "At least I don't have to pay rent right now…" I laughed sadly.

I pulled out 3/4ths of my month's paycheck. The rest I put in a pocket of my bag, still having nowhere to set things. Pulling a towel out of his drawers I stripped and wrapped the towel around me. The bathwater was sounding more inviting to my aching body by the minute so I hurried to fold my clothes and get inside of it.

I loved the captain's western style bath. Well, it was more of an indoor onsen than a bath. I supposed that for such a large man he needed a large bath. The floors and walls were made out of rock and it had one of those beautiful bamboo fountains. It seemed very uncharacteristic of the captain. More like something I had thought the captain of the sixth would have. Something about it spelled Yumichika.

I sank into the warm waters with a small gasp as it stung a cut that my sparring partner had inflicted. It was about two inches long and stung something terribly. It was located right above my left breast, something that made me suspect that my sparring partner may have been a pervert.

I looked around for shampoo and there was none. I shrugged and used soap instead. I let out a small chuckle as I could imagine Yumichika's face if he knew.

Once all that was done I let myself relax, closing my eyes. I wondered if the captain was coming home or not. I smiled thinking about it. He didn't come home the previous night so perhaps he was with another woman. It wouldn't be unlikely. "Tch… I'm so stupid. Why am I thinking like I like the guy? I hate him." I chastised myself with a glare at the water. But what I had felt with him the night before was unprecedented. I blushed as I thought about it but couldn't deny that I had never done anything that felt so good.

I put my head in my hands and shook it. "I think the water's clouding my mind."

"Then get the fuck out"

I froze, not wanting to turn around to face the large captain who I knew was standing behind me.

If I close my eyes maybe he will go away… I thought to myself.

"Ya do realize you said that aloud right?"

I cursed and sank into the foggy water in order to hide myself as best I could. I slowly turned around. The captain was standing above me clad in nothing but a towel. He stepped towards the water.

"W-what do you think you're doing!" I squealed, crossing my arms over myself, wincing as I pressed to hard on my newest cut. It was pathetic but I couldn't ignore the pain as well as a warrior should be able to. In a battle yes, but here in a bathroom with a captain who you hate and yet are still sexually attracted to... apparently not.

"I'm taking a damn bath. I didn't get one last night." He said, discarding the towel and getting in. I turned around.

"But I'm in here…"

"So?"

"So shouldn't you wait for me to get out first?"

I felt the water move as he came up and stood beside me. I moved forward a little bit, pressing my stomach against the rocky wall and gripping it with both my hands.

"You didn't lock the door."

"S-so… I didn't think you were coming back or... I thought you would knock…." I sputtered back angrily with a blushing face at knowing the captain was wearing nothing.

"You sound embarrassed."

I didn't respond. He moved forward and placed his hands on either side of me on the rock. I could almost feel him he was so close. I turned to look at him. His eye patch was still on but his hair was down and wet. I swallowed my mouth dry. I wanted to remove his eye patch again, but knowing I couldn't handle it without attacking him. I hadn't fed since out last adventure which had been the night before last. I was craving It again, but not quite at the point it would cause me pain.

Not wanting him to guess what I was thinking about, I glared at him.

"I don't see why your hiding like that. I saw it all before." He smirked. I got a tick mark on my forehead. He widened his smirk. "Hell, I touched most of it. These marks are proof." He placed his large hand over one of the red marks on my back.

"Shutup! I thought we were going to forget that whole exchange!" I growled.

"No, you said you were going to forget it. I never agreed to it."

My cheeks were now red with anger. I balled up my fists. I put a small smile on my face. "Really now?"

Without any other thought other than that I was extremely angry, I moved my right elbow down and into his stomach. He was rock hard but it hit its mark true. I cursed mentally, sure that that hit had done more damage to my elbow than it had to him. I felt him move backwards and curse. That made it more than worth it.

With a huff I crawled out of the tub and walked to the door with as much dignity as a blushing naked person could muster. I looked back once and stuck out my tongue, no longer as phased by his glare and cursing.

Walking back into the room I let a small smile grace my lips as I dressed into the sweats. The halter top pressed into my cut too much so instead I wrapped my chest up lightly with my chest binging nod then settled down on the floor as usual. I fell asleep moments later.

When I woke up it was not because it was morning, it was because I was shivering terribly. The temperature had dropped. I cursed myself for not buying a blanket. It was freezing. I stood up and looked to the bed. Kenpachi was sleeping peacefully. I walked over and looked at his sleeping face. His eye patch was off. His spiritual energy was enormous, but I found it easy to handle as I stared into his face.

Another wave of shivers racketed my body. I walked over to the window and peered out. It was dark out but you could see the shadow of some snow. I smiled. I loved the snow, I loved winter.

I timidly opened and shut the door to his room as to prevent cold air from getting in and disturbing him. I leaned against and sat down, ignoring the biting old and watching the snow fall.

"Akihito…" I mumbled, surprising even myself. I shook my head back and forth. "Akihito… I accept it. I accept your marriage, and I want you to go through with it, I want you to be happy and yet…"

I reached up to touch my cheek. It was wet. I laughed. I laughed because if I didn't laugh I would cry.

"If I excepted it.. Why does it still hurt so much?"

I continued to stare out at the untouched snow until the door opened. I looked up and into the eyes of the captain. He asked nothing about my tears and I gave him no explanation. He held out his hand, I took it. He led me inside and to the bed.

It seemed to go unspoken, but I knew he would not touch me. He covered us both up with the blanket and held me against him, his warm body mingling wit my eternally frozen one. I was surprised at how easy it was for me to fall back asleep.


	15. Growing Close

AN: Ok so this story is moving a little slow but the chapter after next it will go allot faster i guarantee... I think...

But thank you everyone for the reviews! It really keeps me writing when i see feedback.

Oh and you guys have no ideal how hard it is to write Yachiru's part! She is such a vexing little girl for me. haha. And creepy.. I swear she would give Retsu the chills!

 

The bags in my arms were heavy, and the little lieutenant on my back didn't make the burden any lighter. I let them fall to the floor in the bedroom with a loud thud. "Thank god that's over…"

"That was fun huh shiro-chan?" I had learned by now to ignore the dramatic changing of nicknames that came from Yachiru. I reached up and patted her head.

"Yeah, it was fun spending time with you."

"Can we do it again tomorrow?"

I smiled. "No. but how about we set a date hmm? Like the first of every month we can have a shopping spree. How does that sound? I can buy you some candy."

The little girl seemed to like this. She nodded her head enthusiastically and clamored down to sort through the bags on the floor. She went directly to the grocery bag.

I winced. This girl had already cost me nearly a fortune on candy. I had used all the spare money I had on me on her. But watching her happy face, I divided it was worth it.

"Zlo!" I was snapped out of the thoughts by the little girl. She was holding up a head of cabbage.

"Hmm?"

"Can I eat this?"

I sweatdropped and grabbed it out of her hand, holding it close. "no you can't! Later I will fix you something if you're still hungry ok?"

She started to pout when the door opened.

We both snapped our heads to see the captain walk in. He looked at the bags then at Yachiru. "Where you been today?"

"With Zlo!" She yelled cheerfully. I nodded my head in confirmation. He made a tch sound but said nothing more on the subject. He walked over to the dresser and pullout out the middle drawer.

I looked at it, observing that it was empty.

"Put all yer shit in here." He said, making me and Yachiru both tilt our heads.

"What? Tch annoying brats." He spun back around to leave.

I smiled. "Thank you captain."

He hesitated for a minute, his back to me so I couldn't see his expression, and then he continued on his way.

"Kenny is awfully stubborn ne?" I smiled down to Yachiru. She looked at me like I was crazy and I just laughed, putting the stuff away in the drawer and heading to the kitchen to put the food away.

The day passed by smoothly. Well, what was left of it. Once I was done putting everything away I had gone to the office to do a pile of paperwork for about an hour and a half. And as soon as that was done I had gone to train. Now it was nearly eleven and all my sparing partners had gone to bed nearly an hour ago. I relied on bare strength without using shunpo to accelerate my movements, or even reiatsu. I swung my blade down upon a tummy, watching as it split in half right down the middle, the two sides falling apart and towards the ground. Before it fell to the ground I tried to cleave it in half. I did. I then aimed to cleave both halves in half. I did. I tried to cleave each quarter of it I half and succeeded, and again. Until I had 16 pieces falling to the ground. I tried to cleave all of those in half and only got 12 of them.

I cursed at my speed. I was supposed to be stronger than that. Any lieutenant could have done that, and maybe even some third seats. I glared at the dummy, determined to try again. I needed to be stronger.

The next dummy I managed to only get 11 out of sixteen. The next one 13 out of sixteen. The next 14 and so on. I wouldn't stop until I had all 16 cleaved in half.

An hour later and I was almost out of dummies. I had two left. I repeated it all again, stretching my abilities even further. I did it with a smile.

I turned to the last standing dummy and raised my blade above my head with one hand. I was about to bring it down when a hand shot out and caught my blade. I widened my eyes and looked up at the captain of the eleventh. I knew that the main reason why my blade had not cut him was because it had no reiatsu in it to force his down and was therefore as useless as a regular knife. But the strength behind it I thought would have been enough to at least force his hand down a little. I felt my self esteem drop a little.

"There you are."

I raised an eyebrow.

"You weren't in the room or the bathroom." He explained.

I raised both my eyebrow, my sword still held out in one hand.

"Stop looking at me like that. You should get to bed. Tomorrow I want to see you fight." He growled, turning around.

I sheathed my sword and nervously smiled. He wanted to se ME fight? I gulped. "Yes captain."

We entered the room and I grabbed a sleeping kimono out of my bag and headed for the bathroom. "I am going to shower."

He smirked. "I already took one but two never hurt no-"

"PERVERT!" I hollered, blushing, before I slammed the door. His laughter rang out after me, making me fume.

His laughter followed me as I sank into the bath and using the shampoo I had bought earlier, did my business to get all clean.

The yukata I bought for sleeping was a soft white. It was also the cheapest one there. I figured because it didn't have a fancy pattern. It was cotton too. I like cotton though, as it breathed easily and was more than comfortable.

Leaving my breasts unrestrained, I walked out of the room. It was half past midnight and yet the captain was sitting on his bed, staring at me. His hair was down but his eye patch was still on. I looked down, suddenly self conscious.

About to walk over to my usual spot on the floor, I was taken aback when a hand reached out and wrapped around me. I raised a pale eyebrow at the large man.

"Not there." He said, motioning to the floor. I suddenly understood. I sighed.

"Captain…" I made a feeble attempt to protest

"Don't argue with me girl."

I nodded my head, giving in. In truth I didn't want to sleep on the hard wood floor after knowing the comfort of a bed. He led e over to the large bed and we lay down. I faced away from him, but yelped when he turned me around to face him.

He stared in my eyes and I got slight butterflies, being so close to this guy, able to feel his hot breath on my face.

"C-captain…" I mumbled.

"Do you need to feed?"

The question made me swallow hard. I did.

When I didn't answer he seemed to take that as a yes. "Then do so."

My cheeks turned bright red at the memory of last time. I looked down. He seemed to sense my fears.

"Don't worry it won't be like last time." He growled angrily as always, but the way he looked at me let me know he wasn't lying. I nodded my head.

He had told the truth. It was a kiss of dazzling energy, and at one point his eye patch came off. But other than him gripping me close against him, he didn't overstep any boundaries. Something I respected, as I never would have thought him to have this much restraint.

And then, as quick as it had started, it was done. Well, it was actually quite a while, but it had all passed in a blur. I lay back besides him, panting slightly and feeling fully revived. I cursed mentally. I wasn't going to be able to sleep with this energy.

Turning to my side I realized the opposite was true for the captain. Not only was it late but he had just had his energy sucked out of him. Not that much, but enough to make up for the lack of the eye patch. HE looked at me with glazed over eyes and yet also a very troubled expression. I turned away.

I didn't move until I hear his breath steady. Once I did I turned my head back and gazed at his sleeping face, I knew why he had had such a troubled expression. He had searched my memories. I bit my tongue with anger at myself for being so open. I knew I would have to ask him about it in the morning.

Having all night to myself, to thing and lie awake, I made a mental list of what I could do.

1\. Wake up and ask Kenpachi what he saw

2\. Get ready for the day

3\. Eat a good breakfast and then wait an hour

4\. Show Kenpachi my fighting skills

5\. Paperwork

6\. Training

7\. Shower

8\. Sleep

I continued to revise and change my list until there was nothing more I could do.

And then, slowly trickling and taunting, came the thoughts I had somehow managed to avoid through the day. Thoughts of Akihito. I knew this was going to be a long night. 7 hours left.


End file.
